‘We all know how her show ends’: Jeremy Hunt’s worst budget day jokes

It is one of the more peculiar traditions of the budget: the fact that the chancellor, always one of the less flamboyant ministers in the cabinet, is meant to pepper their lengthy, data-laden speech with jokes.

Some do it better than others. Philip Hammond had an undeniable, if deadpan sense of timing, while Rishi Sunak sometimes gave the impression that he didn’t quite know what a joke was. Jeremy Hunt falls somewhere between – enthusiastic, but not a natural. Here are some of his jokes from Wednesday’s budget, from the obvious to the obscure.

Angela Rayner and capital gains tax

Introducing a cut to the rate of capital gains tax paid by higher-rate taxpayers when selling second homes, Hunt delighted the Conservative benches, and seemingly himself, by saying: “I see the deputy leader of the Labour party paying close attention, given her multiple dwellings.”

This is a reference to reports, mainly in government-friendly newspapers, suggesting that Rayner might have been liable to pay capital gains tax on the sale of her former council house before she became an MP.

Less a joke than a chance to cheer up Tory MPs by letting them laugh at an opponent’s political misfortune, but no less effective for that.

The Laffer curve

Perhaps only a chancellor should be allowed to use a theory about optimal tax rates as a punchline to a joke, and even then only if it is delivered well. Hunt perhaps limped over the line on this front.

Introducing the capital gains tax plan, Hunt said the Treasury and Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) believed a lower rate would bring in more revenue, as there would be more transactions.

“Perhaps for the first time in history both the Treasury and the OBR have discovered their inner Laffer curve,” Hunt said, to polite chuckles.

Rachel Reeves the Tory

Arguably more forced was Hunt’s brief diversion when announcing the permanent extension of a tax break for the theatre and performance arts sector, with a dig at his Labour opposite number over taxes.

This section would be, Hunt said, of “particular interests to the shadow chancellor, who seems to fancy her thespian skills when it comes to acting like a Tory. The trouble is, we all know how her show ends: higher taxes.”

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Reeves, on the benches opposite, grimaced. Others sympathised.

The effing education secretary

As every veteran of the working men’s club comedy circuit knows, when you face a tough crowd, you can do worse than lower the tone a bit.

And so it was that in talking about schools, Hunt said he thought the education secretary, Gillian Keegan, “is doing an effing good job”.

This was a reference, obvious to all in the chamber, to Keegan’s unguarded comments to a TV crew in September amid the crisis over crumbling concrete in schools, lamenting that nobody had praised her for doing a “fucking good job”, while “everyone else has sat on their arse and done nothing”.

Gillian Keegan say some school bosses should ‘get off their backsides’ over Raac survey – video