Wardlow: A Review

Wardlow is a Large Man Who Does Powerbombs. If I were the person responsible for fixing the firmament of professional wrestling, Large Men Who Do Powerbombs would be a constellation with all of the coolest stars to watch, your Nashes and your Sids and your Vaders and your Awesomes and your Batistas. The whole world of wrestling would use them as guide stars.

So, Wardlow. Dude is large. Dude does not stop at one powerbomb. It’s kind of magic, honestly, the way Wardlow has taken the powerbomb and made it his own by doing a lot of powerbombs at once. 

Like, here’s the thing: finishing moves rule. Maybe I’m staying the obvious, but I’ve been watching a lot of wrestling from the 1990s lately, so hear me out. Bill Goldberg was one of the most popular wrestlers of the time and had 100 finishers. Steve Austin was one of the most popular wrestlers at a time and his finisher was something he could spam like a kid feasting on the joystick in WWF No Mercy. 

Wardlow’s Powerbomb Symphony takes those two attributes and combines them, not because the powerbomb has somehow been devalued, but because it’s fucking fun to see dudes get wrecked, and Wardlow does it until he’s tired of wrecking a dude. 

One of the things I love most about wrestling is watching impossible bodies do impossible things. Wardlow should not be possible, but there he is. The powerbomb is not impossible, but how about theee in a row? Five? Ten?

It’s a gift, y’all. I don’t know what else to tell you.