December 23, 2024

Usain Bolt Should Race This Fast Dog Who Interrupted a Utah High School Track & Field Meet

Boly #Boly

Fast dog. © Provided by The Big Lead Fast dog.

We may have found the fastest dog on the planet. This pup jumped into the final leg of a 4 x 200 relay at the Grizzly Invitational (Hosted by the Logan Grizzlies of Logan, Utah) on April 17 and ran an unofficial sub-110-second 100-meter dash. The fact that he was changing lanes and appeared to slow down near the line makes you wonder just how fast this dog really is.

Here’s the full 800m if you want to try and see the dog in the background sizing up his competition.

The only logical next step is for FOX to bring back Man vs. Beast. On the original in 2003, American gold medalist Shawn Crawford won a 100-meter race against a giraffe but lost against a zebra. Here’s Slate’s recap:

No, the nadir was a pair of 100-meter races between a runner named Steve Crawford and those sprinters of the savannah, a giraffe and a zebra. Predictably, the human defeated the confused-looking giraffe, which almost fell during the race, while the zebra blew Crawford away. During this spectacle, one couldn’t help but be reminded of Jesse Owens, who after returning from smashing Hitler’s propaganda at the Berlin Olympics was consigned to racing against horses in Jim Crow America. Crawford’s nickname, “Cheetah Man,” and regular references to his predatory instincts upped the wince factor. The guest analyst was former Olympian Carl Lewis, who advised that in order to win, the zebra must “realize it’s a race.” Lewis somehow managed to stay peppy through the competition, although on the humiliation scale, the only thing lower than racing animals has to be commentating on it.

Tell me this wouldn’t be better with Usain Bolt and a random dog from Utah nearly two decades later. It can’t be any more of a waste of time than celebrity boxing.

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