TUPATALK: Condolences for a fallen warrior

Mike Tupa

I extend my condolences to the family, loved ones and friends of Ethan Dodson.

The personable and energetic Caney Valley High senior student-athlete died last weekend in a drowning accident in Kay County.

There’s never an easy way to talk about such tragedies and irreplaceable losses.

All the words of comfort and faith — and they mean a tremendous lot, as I have learned — might ease but cannot sop away the pain and emptiness felt by the closest survivors.

Even those who believe, as I do, of an eventual reunion on another plane, miss the daily contact with them, feeling the spark of their personality, the joking, the serious moments and the companionship.

But, we do what they would have wanted us to do. We continue on living the best and most completely that we can. It’s not easy. But, it’s doable.

I didn’t known Ethan; I probably never met him.

But, observing him through the eyes of his football coach and other reports, I perceive a very special and bright personality.

He wasn’t a football star for Caney Valley, probably not destined to be one. He was the kind of kid football teams can’t do without — the determined warrior that might not be the best athlete but no one tops him in desire, in love of the team, in effort, in physical and emotional effort and in grittiness.

I don’t mean to suggest he didn’t possess some important physical skills. But, his light shone most brightly in athletics because everything he had he poured into competition. He helped Caney Valley win 11 games the past two years — perhaps the second-most successful back-to-back seasons for wins in team history.

He pushed himself to be better, he set an example for those around him to push themselves to be better.

On one level, there’s no way to comprehend this tragedy, why a 17-year-old young man with such potential, intelligence and enthusiasm leaves at such an early age.

I’m sure there are many of us that have lived most our lives that would rather that we be taken in place of such a promising young presence.

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But, that’s not the way of things. Destiny happens for a reason. We can’t control it — we can only try to benefit from its lessons.

Sadness like this teaches us to appreciate our lives and the lives of our loved ones more and to develop a humility about life that there are no guarantees.

I’ve always remembered a similar incident many years ago when a former Dewey High baseball player, already in college, died in an out-of-town highway accident. I saw his mother a few days later in public and she shared with me that on the night before he returned to college, the last time she would see him, they stayed up most the night visiting about the family and about his concern for his siblings.

Somehow, a kind providence knew that that special memory of that conversation would be a blessing to that bereaved mom.

I guess one thing to do is to remember those moments of grace when we drew close to the departed one and cherish those moments and keep our love strong and our lives good and believe they are still the same personality living elsewhere.

From what I know, I’m grateful a young man named Ethan Dodson made such a profound impact for good on so many people in such a short time.

May his example of determination, love, striving to be his best and excitement for life inspire us to be better — and may we remember with kindness and empathy his loved ones.

This article originally appeared on Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise: TupaTalk: Condolences for a fallen warrior