Trump says the 1918 flu pandemic began in 1917, ‘probably ended the Second World War’

Stephen Colbert was back in the Ed Sullivan Theater — well, an office in the theater — for Monday’s Late Show. “Now, you might recall that right before I went on break, Congress couldn’t agree on … anything, specifically how much supplemental unemployment pay out-of work Americans should get,” he said. So President Trump stepped in with an executive order. Yes, “it’s against the law,” Colbert said. “But on the bright side, Trump’s orders aren’t just unconstitutional, they also don’t help.”

“You’ve got to give it to Trump, man: He knows that Congress is so gridlocked that they can make even him look good,” Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. “Because, you see, it doesn’t matter if his executive orders are illegal or toothless or completely unworkable, he understands that even the appearance of doing something is better than the appearance of going on recess in the middle of a recession.”

“So once again, Trump has tried to solve a problem and ended up creating a bigger mess,” Noah said. “But if you’re wondering whether he thinks he’s doing a good job,” it appears he thinks he’s earned a spot on Mount Rushmore. “And honestly, I agree with him: I think we should put Trump on Mount Rushmore,” he added. “But not a carving — I think we would actually put him on Mount Rushmore, no phone, no internet, problem solved.”

“Trump’s wasting his time at Mount Rushmore,” Jimmy Fallon said at The Tonight Show. “If he wants something carved into rock that looks like him, the orange hue of the Grand Canyon is a much better option.” Fallon was also unimpressed Trump “signed four executive orders to help the unemployed from his private country club. Even Marie Antoinette was like, ‘Come on, man, read the room.'”

Asking to be put on Mount Rushmore is “like going up to a priest after mass and asking him, ‘So, what’s the process for adding someone to the trinity? What if it was like the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and the Dan?'” Seth Meyer joked at Late Night. “And even if there was a process to get on Mount Rushmore, I’m pretty sure presiding over the preventable deaths of 160,000 Americans and the worst economic crash since the Great Depression would be disqualifying.” Watch his critique of Trump’s “meaningless and blatantly unconstitutional executive orders” and his impressive Owen Wilson impersonation below. Peter Weber