Thorburn saga just more fuel on Essendon’s shameful dumpster fire

This was announced as a unanimous decision of the board, until it wasn’t. Yes, legend Kevin Sheedy said he’d voted for former champion James Hird, who resigned as Essendon coach in 2015 following the Essendon supplements scandal.

Kevin Sheedy, left, and James Hird, right, pictured in 2007.Credit:Sebastian Costanzo

At any organisation with a functioning board, held together by some idea of solidarity, that sort of statement would be accompanied by a resignation. Except it wasn’t, cos, Sheedy. And on we go. And yes, there’s more.

They appointed former National Australia Bank CEO Andrew Thorburn to lead an external review of the club to look into Essendon’s apparently many shortcomings. A little over a month later, Thorburn is appointed as CEO. How’s that for arm’s length?

I’ll get to the religious aspects that many have raised shortly, but it has to be recalled that Thorburn was chased out of his job at National Australia Bank after becoming one Kenneth Hayne’s prime targets in the banking royal commission. Hayne singled out Thorburn, saying he had not learnt the lessons from past misconduct including his bank charging customers tens of millions of dollars in fees for no service.

This was the man who would help a club still reeling from a failure of ethics or process, depending on who you believe. Really?

What proved to be the real problem for Thorburn was his position as chairman of the City on the Hill church movement, which has sermons published on its website including some from 2013 likening abortion to a concentration camp and stating that practising homosexuality is a sin.

Thorburn manages this organisation. It’s hard to think of a greater personal endorsement of its values. This affiliation is certainly something a prudent organisation would look at before offering someone a top job. You’d imagine this position was listed for conflict of interest or background reasons on his application for Essendon and its advisers at Ernst & Young.

But these sermons were apparently extremely well-hidden. Bombers president Dave Barham said neither he nor the club’s new CEO were aware they existed.

Certainly if the City on a Hill church can be uncontroversially commended for one thing it is an extremely easy to navigate website.

Its sermons are helpfully organised into sections such as abortion and sexuality. They have blurbs summarising what you’ll hear and it’s all available on Spotify.

Is it too much to expect that someone, anyone, might’ve taken a minute to google the church and listen to what it has to say? Given, y’know, for example, that the AFLW pride round is a week away.

Apparently, even Thornburn hadn’t thought to look at those hot button sections in the two years he’d been the church’s chairman. Formidable due diligence there, chief.

In fact, his defence – ignorance of the sermons – sounds eerily similar to his defence in the banking royal commission, which was demolished when he was confronted with his bank’s misbehaviour. He says his views differ from the church on some matters, but he hasn’t said which ones.

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Even amid what may be the biggest, most amateur hour, fumbling dumpster fire I’ve witnessed professionally in 20 years of business journalism, there was another trade week heartbreak with the news on Tuesday that Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti apparently wants to play someplace else. Tippa!? Not Tippa?!?!

Right. Deep breath. Let’s recap – that’s a hamfisted review, a board coup, a botched coach succession, an embarrassingly public unrequited pursuit of a new coach, a shock CEO exit, a board rift over the new coach appointment, a questionable CEO appointment that lasted just over 24 hours and a chairman who admitted the board had failed a basic background check on that CEO.

That’s seven own goals in three months, in a season in which we twice kicked only six goals.

It’s embarrassing, bewildering and hard to explain not least to the kid who flew to Sydney in May to see one of those abject floggings after having the trip cancelled twice during COVID.

The kid who was sobbing on my shoulder when Jamie Elliott broke our hearts at a riotous MCG but who fronted up the next week in his kit to back the team.

Who has watched every AFLW game the red and black have played this season live in cap, scarf and hopeful excitement. I look at him and think the so-called custodians of the club should be ashamed at what they’ve done.