There’s nothing unladylike about swearing: Mary Earps can celebrate however the bleep she wants

This weekend’s game was stressful, sweat-inducing and f**king excellent, to put it lightly (Picture: Maryam Majd/Getty Images)

‘F**king yes! F**k off!’

Those were the words suspectedly roared by England goalkeeper, Mary Earps, after she saved a penalty against Spain in the Women’s World Cup 2023 final on Sunday.

As her tongue lolled in celebration, with a wide-armed ‘come at me!’ stance, the same profanities turned the air blue around me as I watched the historic game from the comfort of my sofa.

This weekend’s game was stressful, sweat-inducing and f**king excellent, to put it lightly.

But while it wasn’t to be for England’s Lionesses, Earps’ ‘Pickford vibes’ and goading reaction was broadcast to the world – becoming an overnight viral sensation.

Except, not everyone is happy.

‘How charming,’ someone on X (formerly Twitter) wrote. ‘Not very ladylike at all,’ another added.

‘Disgusting.’

Rather than comment on Earps’ talent as one of the best goalies in the world (irrespective of gender), or the passion that the player has for her sport, team and country – they commented on her language.

That it wasn’t in keeping with her sex, or what’s expected of her as a woman. That she was setting a bad example, and should have been punished for her ‘overreaction’.

But Earps should be celebrated for her achievements, for her display of passion – rather than penalised for her profanities.

I can hardly say I was surprised at the reaction, though.

Rather than comment on Earps’ talent as one of the best goalies in the world (irrespective of gender), they commented on her language (Picture: Catherine Ivill/Getty Images)

I love swearing – and I’m pretty good at it, too. Whether out of frustration (‘for f**k’s sake!’), forgetfulness, (‘oh, s**t!’), anger (‘motherf****r!’), or in celebration (‘f**k yeah!’) – and since moving to Scotland, the C-word is one of my favourites. It’s reserved for special occasions – or just for d**kheads, to be honest.

For my entire life, I’ve known that women should remain cool and level-headed, polite and calm. They should never react out of frustration, or talk back – it’s not ‘ladylike’ enough. Too masculine.

If they did, they’d be called aggressive, angry or bitchy. Told to ‘calm down’ or ‘take a chill pill’. Asked if it’s ‘that time of the month’.

Told to act like a lady.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve been told to reign it in, or asked if I’m on my period when I’ve been in a heated debate. To know my place.

Growing up, I even remember a girl in my school being put in detention for swearing after a wasp stung her, whereas the boys mouthed off to the chimes of my teachers’ titters – without punishment.

Mary Earps won the tournament’s Golden Glove (Picture: FRANCK FIFE/AFP via Getty Images)

Boys will be boys, as they say.

In sports, football especially, men can seem to get away with a gross lack of sportsmanship, aggression and actual acts of violence on the pitch – all waved off as displays of passion. ‘It’s just the way they are,’ punters might say. ‘Locker room behaviour,’ others call it – never bad manners, or inappropriate.

When men swear, it’s nothing newsworthy.

But when women like Earps do, even when they’re celebrating an amazing achievement, they’re uncouth. Angry, crazy, wild. Showing signs of authority as a ‘nasty woman’.

And when Jill Scott MBE was involved in a particularly nasty tackle with a German player last summer, she was told she ‘let England down’ after reacting with ‘f**k off you f**king p***k’ – again, becoming an instant viral hit.

While the BBC apologised, Scott was scorned by pearl clutchers online for ‘behaving like a man’ – with people asking why we were applauding footballers as great role models for children. 

It’s a sure sign of double standards – with some people having a problem with female rage, and passion, especially in Earps’ case.

While swearing is common for women (who hasn’t said ‘you f**king b*****d’ to a plug?), it’s still controversial for my sex, for some reason. We have to reign in our vocabulary and use of profanities in order not to cause offence. 

Research proves this, too. A 2001 study by Robert O’Neil of Louisiana State University discovered that people found swearing less attractive when the speaker was a woman rather than a man. Seriously? Get a f**king grip.

It’s unjust and hypocritical – further proof that this idea of the ideal woman is built on a sexist, archaic trope. To much of society still, women are still caregivers; smiling, quiet. Pushovers, even. They don’t speak their mind, or get mad – they’re kind, forgiving, gentle.

They know how to control their emotions, and they’re ultimately peacekeepers – saving passion for the bedroom. Swearing is reserved men; for troopers and sailors – both widely seen as masculine terms.

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But swearing is actually good for you – and has been proven to kill pain. And in Sunday’s match, Earps faced perhaps the most stressful, nerve-wracking moment in her footballing career – she was probably in a state of mental agony, though she didn’t show it. She delivered, making football history. 

To me, that is a good example to set for young girls. Proof that, even when the world is watching, you can deliver. That you can reap the rewards, celebrate yourself and your own achievements – whatever they are, and however you want, with true passion.

That you can do anything, and still be yourself.

Earps is a hero – a national treasure for her X-rated excellence, not a heathen.

Act like a lady? F**k that s**t!

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

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