The Madge Effect: How to soften the blow on warranties?

The “Madge Effect” is what I call it. This is a little-known — or perhaps little-discussed — effect of the pandemic.

Madge was the manicurist on the TV commercial for Palmolive (which ran from the late 1960s to the early 1990s) who soaked her customers’ hands in the dishwashing detergent because it “softens hands while you do the dishes.”

I need Madge. But Madge died in 2004, so I have nowhere to turn.

I’d like to think that I can turn to my dishwasher company, but I have no great hopes on that score.

My dishwasher has been out of commission for over two months now, during which time I have been doing dishes by hand, and my hands are definitely showing the effects. (My mood is definitely showing the effects, too.)

In some ways, this is my own fault. I had a perfectly good dishwasher, one that worked well and was reliable. But it was 26 years old (yes, an appliance at one time was capable of lasting that long!), and we were planning to replace our kitchen floor, so it seemed like a wise move to replace the dishwasher at that time.

My new dishwasher — does it still count as a “dishwasher” if it’s no longer capable of washing dishes? — is just a little over two years old; and as it is already experiencing its first major problem, it’s clear that it will last nowhere near as long as my first one.

To be fair, I didn’t really expect my new dishwasher — or any new appliance — to last even 20 years. It is common knowledge that appliances, especially those with electronic control boards, don’t last long at all anymore. And so, being proactive, I bought an extended warranty for the dishwasher.

The problem is that a warranty, no matter how good, is only as good as the availability of parts. If parts aren’t available, an appliance can’t be fixed.

And, to add to the many effects of the pandemic, COVID-19 has made parts difficult to get. In the case of my dishwasher, the holdup is that the parts have to come from overseas. Thus, the Madge Effect: the scarcity of dishwasher parts has entailed handwashing dishes, which has entailed dishpan hands.

Of course, I do understand that the Madge Effect pales in comparison to many other effects of the pandemic. And I understand that procuring parts is out of everyone’s hands — dishpan or not.

But the question is how long is reasonable to wait when considering a warranty. Warranties often address whether a replacement appliance will be in the works or whether a refund of the warranty amount will be paid if parts become totally unavailable forever. But what about the no-man’s land of parts being available — but not available for an extended period of time? At what point should a consumer expect a company to just replace an appliance?

And what happens to the rest of a warranty while waiting for a part? For example, if I have to wait a year for the part, will that add a year to the warranty period?

I used to think that a dishwasher was a luxury, not a necessity. I still do — kind of. With each passing day and each sinkful of dishes, I am leaning more and more toward the philosophy that a dishwasher is one of those “unalienable rights” guaranteed to us by the Declaration of Independence. Who can argue that liberty and happiness stem from not having to do dishes by hand?