Stylists have ruined the Brownlow. Time to bring back the red carpet pick’n’mix

“Putting on clothes is preparing ourselves to go out into the world. Our body does things in that world; travels, works, meets a friend for coffee or a lover for a kiss. We contribute to the community, we create, we imagine while wearing garments. Getting dressed is both an intimate gesture and a public one.”

Brit Selwood, wife of Joel Selwood, attends the 2022 Brownlow Medal count.Credit: Getty Images

Which is why it’s weird that many AFL wives and girlfriends – Brit, wife of retired Geelong captain Joel Selwood, a veteran of their ranks – will outsource their fashion choices for Monday’s Brownlow Medal.

For anyone playing along at home, trying not to spill Mie goreng on tracky daks while casting judgment, the Brownlow red carpet used to be an unpredictable pick’n’mix.

Among sleek, chic looks there’d be bedazzled G-strings, faux bridal looks, Joan Crawford homages, stripper corsets. Hard to beat: Sarita Stella coming as a Sherrin in 2001 and Fiona Mills’ 2003 gown embellished with patches of each team’s logo. Fantastic!

Then the pressure of the spotlight and social media exposure meant the WAGs stopped going with their instincts and started placing their faith and looks in the hands of professional stylists. Protect their brand, etc. I get that – but have stylists ruined the Brownlow Medal count?

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Like a dud party, it’s now pretty much one note. Everyone looks classy, appropriate, lovely. And so damn tasteful I want to whack myself in the face with Saint Laurent silver platform sandals. I miss the risk taking and one-off disasters that come when people are instinctive in their style.

Ahoy, Brownlow WAGs! This is a public service announcement.

First, there’s no such thing as good or bad taste, just personal taste.

Second, you are women steely enough to deal with the egos, absences, injuries, insecurities, public interest your blokes’ job brings. You’re doing the heavy lifting at home and running careers. You can certainly dress yourselves without caring what anyone else thinks.

Brit, if you’re invited, I have a feeling you’ll look like you. I regret not buying the jumpsuit, PS.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.

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