Stress of Matildas’ penalty shootout can now make way for World Cup enjoyment

I have a lot of respect for people that can score a penalty. I have certainly missed my fair share of them. In the Asian Cup final, in 2006, on home soil in Adelaide, we went to penalties against China. Collette McCallum did not convert our first. China nailed theirs. Sally Shippard went next and kept us in the game. Then it was my turn – and I missed.

That is not my fondest memory. It is literally the toss of a coin – the goalkeeper is a huge part of it. If you’ve played for 120 minutes, you can hardly feel your legs. I remember feeling that sensation, I was absolutely spent. But the expectation is that you will score. So when you don’t, particularly in big moments, it hurts. That miss still haunts me today.

Which meant I was on the edge of my seat on Saturday night. France going first – that is a huge advantage, especially when it goes to sudden death, when the team can put it away. And so for the girls to stay in the game, with that pressure, when you have to score otherwise that’s it, you’re gone, that was the most impressive part of it for me. They stayed in it when they were so close to going home. Mackenzie Arnold was immense – the French players were hitting it into the top corner and she was still getting there.

I’ve been there, I know what it’s like – to lose on penalties, just as this team did in 2019 to Norway in the last 16. For them to go through, it is next level – I have so much respect and admiration for this current generation.

As a former Matilda, going beyond the quarter-finals has been the elusive next step. I played in the 2007 World Cup, when we made it to the quarters. The team reached the last eight in 2011 and 2015. Now at last they have taken the next step and gone further than they’ve ever gone before.

The moment a plane full of passengers erupts over the Matildas win – except one – video

For me, anything beyond this now is just a bonus. Before it was nail-biting, it was stressful. Now I feel like we can let loose and enjoy every moment that comes. If the team end up progressing further, I’ll be going crazy. But I know the girls won’t be thinking that way. They will be feeling they can win this thing. They’re not stopping now.

To be able to play England is extra sweet. So many members of the current squad play in England, plus there is that long history and tradition between the two nations. It’s so fitting. Australia have beaten England recently and if we look at the two other teams in the semi-finals, they have beaten both Spain and Sweden well too.

Fans in the stands at Suncorp Stadium on Saturday. Photograph: Darren England/AAP

A few days ago I told someone that this had been the best month of my life. I can die a happy woman now. They were shocked – they asked if it was better than playing myself.

I had no hesitation. This is better than playing at three World Cups. To be a part of this, even just as a fan, as a Matildas alumni. The whole tournament, the wider story, the fairytale. The way the nation now respects and is inspired by the Matildas. That is all we ever wanted when we were playing.

It makes everything worthwhile. All the struggles, all the insults. When you hear: “Ohh, do women really play football?” Or when you go out and get flogged by 15-year-old boys. The male domination of the game when we were trying to forge our own path, earn our own respect.

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To see it come to fruition – the respect, the admiration, the inspiration – that makes everything that we went through worth it.

And I am particularly happy that this generation gets to reap the rewards, because they have been through the wringer themselves. With the pay strike, all the coaches they went through, all the bad luck, all the injuries – so for them to be in this moment, I’m so happy for them. It is so well deserved. They’ve had the dramas – they didn’t win the Asian Cup, they went out early in 2019. So for everything to go right, for that penalty shootout to go their way when it’s basically a flip of the coin.

I’m happy to have played my part. We went through two World Cups where we didn’t win a game and struggled for this. Our ambitions back then were modest – to make the top 10 – but now Australia could win the World Cup.

Reaching the semi-finals on home soil makes it all worthwhile. And the struggle that came beforehand makes it even more special.