Stephen A. Smith soaring into ‘First Take’ on Jerry Jones’ helicopter might be the pinnacle of cable television

My fellow Americans, our long, dark nightmare is finally over. Two weeks ago, Stephen A. Smith—’First Take’ host, soap-opera star, human thesaurus—returned to ESPN airwaves after a lengthy absence due to surgery. There he reintroduced himself to audiences perched aboard a boat in the middle of the East River in a suit that would make Dabo Swinney blush while talking sh*t about the Dallas Cowboys. It was as fitting as a reentry into sports talk TV as there ever has been or ever will be.

But as it turns out, that was just the amuse bouche to the five-course feast. On Thursday, ‘First Take’ headed to Forth Worth, Texas for their annual Cowboys troll-a-thon. It has been a tried and true tradition for ESPN’s loudest debate show for years, but with the formula becoming on stale, Smith decided to make like AB at Steelers training camp and up the ante, arriving abreast the wings of Jerry Jones’ personal Cowboys copter. Witness the absurdity as it happened.

Needless to say, Stephen A. Smith has really outdone himself on this one. First of all, helicopters are dangerous. You take your life in your own hands every time you step inside one of those steel hell birds. Second of all, he somehow got Jerry Jones to join him for some mid-air yucks, even after building his career largely by bashing Jerry Jones. Would you put it past Jerry to put a body double on that heli and bring the whole thing down, faking his own death in the name of almighty vengeance? Yeah, neither would we.

Thankfully everybody arrived safe and sound and delivered quite the spectacle in the process. Now the only question is what mode of transportation will Stephen A. use for his next grand entrance. Will we see him perched atop a speeding bullet train? Perhaps blasting off into space on Elon Musk’s rocket? The sky is the limit … literally.