Schools aren’t guaranteed safe for LGBTQ families. Here’s how to show support.

When Brittany Jeltema first heard about Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill, the immediate panic and fear she felt was “indescribable.” She and her wife decided to move to the state before the bill was introduced, meaning their two young children will grow up in Florida’s school systems.

“The fact their family will be viewed as controversial in the eyes of Republican law makers will be damaging and traumatic for them,” she says. “They deserve to be proud of their family and share about their two moms without worrying if it will spark a discussion.”

In addition to LGBTQ families impacted by this bill and others popping up across the nation, it has also made schools an unsafe space for LGBTQ youth by having non-affirming environments where students aren’t allowed to express their full authentic selves. Experts say this detrimental for students’ education and mental well-being.

More: As ‘Don’t Say Gay’ and similar bills take hold, LGBTQ youths feel they’re ‘getting crushed’

Parents of LGBTQ students have shared their fears and frustration over such bills.

Jeff Walker of Auburn, Alabama has a transgender 15-year-old daughter, Harleigh. He told USA TODAY that he worries if and where she’ll be able to use the bathroom at school. Kevin McDonald, a teacher in Edmond, Oklahoma, feels the pressure at school and at home. His 15-year-old daughter identifies as a lesbian.

GLSEN executive director Melanie Willingham-Jaggers views these bills as a way to “target and pick off the most vulnerable part of our community,” namely trans youth.

“They’re attacking the ability of children to be safe and fully participate in school life,” they add, which can make even the simplest and most positive parts of school a nightmare, like using a restroom or joining a sports team.

“And if something bad happens to them in the hallway or the classroom between their peers or an adult, they need to have school policies that see, understand and protect them,” Willingham-Jaggers said. “That’s being undermined.”

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More: Florida’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill sparked national backlash. But more legislation is brewing.

How to show support for LGBTQ families, youth

While certain schools are being targeted, experts say there are ways to show support to LGBTQ families and students.

Get informed: Stay up-to-date on what is happening in (and against) the LGBTQ community, including attacks on LGBTQ youth in schools. This also means getting educated about being a good ally, especially for those outside the LGBTQ community.

To help with that, The Trevor Project, nonprofit organization focused on suicide prevention among LGBTQ youth, created a guide to transgender and nonbinary allyship, which covers what terms and concepts are necessary to learn about as well as best practices.

Know the consequences: Discrimination can be deadly. The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth aged 13 to 24 seriously consider suicide each year in the United States. At least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

Jeltema explained that supporters of these bills are making things worse with the “trauma and harm they are creating for LGBTQ+ students and families.”

Listen up: We need to be listening to young people about what they need, Willingham-Jaggers said. While youth-driven activism is great, at the end of the day, these are kids who shouldn’t have to be fighting so hard to be seen and heard.

“It is great that young people will raise their voices. However, it should not be that they are the ones advocating to adults to make sure that their rights are not taken away, to make sure that they are able to attend school again, which they’re required to do legally, safely. That is the job of adults.”

By listening to what they experience and need, we can be better supporters.

Get active: Willingham-Jaggers says to “get up, get out and get loud in support of LGBTQ+ youth.”

This includes writing to lawmakers, volunteering with organizations fighting against discriminatory bills and voting with LGBTQ+ students in mind. Not sure what to say to lawmakers? The Human Rights Campaign has a sample message prepared to help.

And it’s impossible to achieve any change without straight allies helping, Jeltema added.

“Voting for lawmakers who do not pass discriminatory laws like the Don’t Say Gay Bill is the first step to protecting and supporting LGBTQ+ families,” she said.

Support inclusive teachers, curriculum: While one inclusive and affirming teacher can make a difference, six can change the course of a young person’s trajectory in school, Willingham-Jaggers explained.

“We know that what makes a learner most successful is seeing themselves, their families and their communities reflected in the curriculum,” they added.

Show support in your community: Visibility is also key in making sure LGBTQ youth feel seen and supported. GLSEN is launching a campaign that will offer signage from stickers to yard signs that can act as physical, visible signs of support in your community.

“Get visible so that young people who are LGBTQ+ can see you and know that you are in support of them,” Willingham-Jaggers said.

Protest against “Don’t Say Gay” in Fort Myers, Fla., on March 6, 2022.

Are safe spaces for LGBTQ students really important? Yes.

While there are LGBTQ-focused organizations where queer youth can find community, there are roughly 50 million young people in schools, where they spend half of their waking hours.

“We find it of utmost importance to make sure they are respected and protected – whether they are LGBTQ+ or not,” Willingham-Jagger said. “We are fighting for the protection of every student and the respect of every family.”

Willingham-Jagger said young people being able to participate in school has all kinds of virtuous effects on their friendships, social development, mental health, emotional well-being as well as physiological and psychological development.

“Depriving young people of safe space takes away the supports that we know through research and experience are necessary to help young people grow up full, whole and ready to participate in a multiracial democracy,” she said, adding that “attacks on student spaces (and) on schools really are an attack on democracy.”

According to more than 20 years of research conducted by GLSEN, LGBTQ+ youth who attend schools with inclusive curricula have higher GPAs, a greater sense of belonging and are more likely to pursue post-secondary education, among other benefits that promote long-term wellbeing and achievement.

Jeltema, who is a teacher, knows firsthand the importance of providing a safe and inclusive space for her students.

Jeltema, who is a teacher, knows firsthand the importance of providing a safe and inclusive space for her students.

“Every child deserves to be represented in the classroom. If students are working on a family tree project, for example, my children deserve to proudly share about their two moms,” she says. “Having a law that censors and silences children and teachers doesn’t eliminate the fact that LGBTQ+ families exist, it just creates trauma for them. We are still here. Teachers should have the right to create a safe and inclusive space for every student who enters their classroom, regardless of their gender or sexuality.”

Contributing: Romina Ruiz-Goiriena, USA TODAY

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill impacts LGBTQ families. How to show support.