Review: No slap, no problems? The Oscars would like to pretend that everything, everywhere is fine

If Nero fiddled while Rome burned, maybe the rest of us can just watch movies while the world is in flames. 

That’s what it felt like watching the 95th Academy Awards, an awards show trying to claw back a sense of normalcy after three years of a pandemic and one year of reverberations from the slap heard around the world, when Will Smith assaulted Chris Rock at the 2022 ceremony. It succeeded in returning to three-and-a-half-plus hours of Hollywood backslapping, corporate synergy and occasionally truncated acceptance speeches. And it also succeeded in pretending that the world outside the walls of the Dolby Theatre doesn’t have any problems that a trip to your local multiplex couldn’t solve. 

Don’t worry, said host Jimmy Kimmel, after delivering a softball monologue that stroked egos more than it generated laughs: No one can get slapped this year. Don’t worry, said the producers, the world may be full of war and economic crises, but the Academy has you covered with an awkward appearance by activist Malala Yousafzai. Don’t worry, said the winners praising the return of audiences to large gatherings at movie theaters, we don’t have to worry about the pandemic anymore. Ignore the commercial breaks littered with advertisements for a COVID drug and vaccines. 

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Perhaps I’m expecting too much from the Oscars, but it feels dissonant to give best picture to a timely, incisive film like “Everything Everywhere All at Once” with one hand and wave away the problems of the world with the other. It all led to a broadcast that was bland, uncontroversial and mildly entertaining, sure, but also felt terribly fake. 

As the night’s emcee, Kimmel’s jokes were obvious, easy and short – his regular late-night monologue writ large. A few jokes punched a little harder – one for the January 6 Capitol riots, another at (absent) Tom Cruise and Scientology – but otherwise his hosting duties felt phoned in, or at least maybe monitored by corporate overlords looking to avoid controversy at all costs.  

The moments that made the night sparkle came instead from the movies themselves: Great clips and superb musical performances let audiences connect to the films, whether or not they’ve seen them. And it was a delight to have all 23 categories presented on air again after some were shunted to a preshow ceremony last year. Yes, the telecast was long, but in the moments when Kimmel wasn’t forcing unsuspecting audience members to talk about Harry Styles and Chris Pine, there was momentum. Most of the ceremony shuffled along quite nicely, although not quite at the speed of the dancing in the boisterous performance of best original song winner “Naatu Naatu,” from India’s “RRR.” 

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There were moments of sincerity and genuine emotion that will not be as famous or viral as The Slap, but certainly made for good television. It’s important to remember that joy can be as much of a spectacle as scandal and drama. There was the collective delight of the entire theater singing “Happy Birthday” to the star of live-action short film winner “An Irish Goodbye” or the early fireworks of happiness from “Everything Everywhere” star Ke Huy Quan winning best supporting actor. There was the real grief emanating from “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” star Danai Gurira introducing a song honoring the late Chadwick Boseman, or the usually stoic John Travolta’s voice cracking as he introduced the In Memoriam segment, which included his “Grease” co-star, Olivia Newton John. 

© Jack Gruber/USA TODAY Ke Huy Quan accepts the award for best actor in a supporting role for his performance in “Everything Everywhere All at Once” during the 95th Academy Awards.

Lowlights included two moments of rather obscene advertising: Melissa McCarthy and young star Halle Bailey stepping onstage to shill for Disney’s “The Little Mermaid” remake and what could only be described as propaganda for the 100th birthday of Warner Bros. Studios, narrated by Morgan Freeman. Sure, the Oscars are always one big commercial for “the cinema,” but it was just too much to give air time to an ad for Warner Bros. when multiple winners had their speeches cut short. 

For the Academy, this year’s Oscars were likely a resounding success. There were happy tears, an exciting movie won best picture, the audience liked Kimmel’s monologue and nobody was slapped. But the real world kept slipping into the carefully crafted artifice. Jessica Chastain wore a mask in the audience. “Nalvany,” a documentary about a Russian political prisoner, won an award. One of the “Everything” directors defended drag performance as “a threat to nobody.” All were reminders that movies and the Oscars themselves are huge platforms that can effect change.

But shhh, people go to the movies for distraction. Just forget how much inflation has raised the ticket prices. 

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Review: No slap, no problems? The Oscars would like to pretend that everything, everywhere is fine