Prince William named ‘world’s sexiest bald man,’ internet demands justice for Stanley Tucci
Prince William #PrinceWilliam
Gird your loins, everyone: A very informal study has named Prince William as the “world’s sexiest bald man,” and the internet begs to differ.
As Britain’s The Sun reported, researchers found that the Duke of Cambridge had been described as “sexy” 17.6 million times in blogs, reports, and pages found via Google search, according to a study by cosmetic surgery specialists Longevita. Social media users were soon up in arms over the results, demanding justice for the various sexy bald men of Hollywood.
The Awardist: Stanley Tucci & Colin Firth
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One name, however, quickly rose above the rest: The Devil Wears Prada star and master of quarantine cocktails himself, Stanley Tucci. The actor was trending on Twitter Saturday morning as the Tucci hive arose to defend his honor.
Tucci didn’t even rank among the top 10 sexiest bald men as determined by the study: Mike Tyson came in a distant second with 8.8 million results, followed by (in descending order) Jason Statham, Pitbull, Michael Jordan, Floyd Mayweather, John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, and Vin Diesel. According to The Sun, Patrick Stewart and, um, Vladimir Putin “just missed out” on spots in the top 10. Stanley Tucci erasure, indeed.
It should be noted that perhaps the Supernova star had an unfair leg up in the internet’s mind: Tucci can currently be seen on CNN’s Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy wandering around some of the world’s most gorgeous cities, cooking and eating delicious food.
As The New Yorker’s Helen Rosner wrote, “Italy is beautiful. The food of Italy is beautiful. Not insignificantly, Stanley Tucci is beautiful, too. He strolls the narrow thoroughfares of Florence and Naples with the physical eloquence of a dancer, at once smoldering and restrained. He gazes at wheels of cheese and swirls of pasta as if the food must be seduced before it will consent to be devoured. The Tucci of Searching for Italy is a figure out of time: thick-framed glasses, white pants, a rich leather belt, a linen shirt tailored narrowly to the trapezoid of his torso, cuffs rolled just so, the hint of a bronzed and muscled forearm.”
As the Italians would say, molto bene. Prince who?
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