Millionaire Marriage Dynamics: How Elite Achievers Can Beat the Odds

© Drazen/stock.adobe.com couple

Do the highest income earners have a harder time building happy, successful marriages compared to everyone else? To answer this question, Forbes magazine looked at divorce rates among the wealthiest people in the U.S., and they found that roughly one in two (49%) of those billionaire marriages ended in divorce.

That doesn’t seem too far off from the average divorce rate in the U.S., which is between 40% and 50%, until we look at above-average income earners as a segment. When we look exclusively at couples who don’t have added stress of financial hardship, it’s clear that the wealthiest couples face greater odds of marital breakdown.

The data tells us that upper-middle-class couples are far less likely to divorce than the population as a whole. College graduates, for example, only have a 30% divorce rate, and one study showed couples with no assets are 70% more likely to divorce at the end of a three-year period than couples with at least $10,000 in assets.

Therefore, financial success seems to improve your odds of marital success — until you reach the upper echelons of wealth. At that point, marriage success plummets. Understanding why this happens is the first step toward beating the odds.

Exploring How Success and Wealth Affect Marriage

As a Human Potential Expert, I’ve spent years working with elite achievers and their spouses, and I’m 100% certain that money itself isn’t the root cause. I do believe, however, that high divorce rates among the ultra-wealthy are directly linked to the very factors that created their success.

Most of these high-profile marriages begin as true partnerships, with one person focused on financial success while the other manages nearly everything else (home life, kids, properties, etc.). In most cases, the marriage’s initial success paves the way for remarkable financial achievement.

But building a successful business requires a legendary and all-encompassing drive, and these elite performers struggle to relax and connect with their spouses at home. Their spouses may find themselves feeling isolated, growing increasingly resentful over time. Meanwhile, the high-achieving breadwinners may feel underappreciated for all their hard work providing for the family, becoming resentful themselves.

As time goes by, this mounting discord limits the couple’s evolution. They may be longing for the connection they once had but feel stuck. Strong personalities, the habit of pushing through pain and the unwillingness to seek help often contribute to marital strife.

Many high achievers and their spouses accept this reality, buying into the cynical premise that they can’t possibly have it all. Or else they decide it’s time to throw in the towel and seek fulfillment elsewhere.

Both assumptions are flawed. In my practice, I’ve seen many couples rescue marriages that were on the brink of divorce, and it doesn’t take years. I’ve found that if just one person in a struggling marriage is willing to take charge of repairing the broken relationship, with the right guidance, they can save the relationship more than 75% of the time.

And when both parties are willing to give it one last try, with the right approach, the success rate can go up to a whopping 100%.

Turning Around Marital Strife Is Easy — if You Know How

Here’s what most people find counter-intuitive, but by grasping this, you will gain tremendous power and the ability to create the relationship of your dreams.

The ingrained patterns of dysfunctional behavior are not the real problems, they are merely symptoms. Instead of putting two upset people in a room and having them rehash their grievances, as they do in conventional marriage counseling, it may help to find and address the underlying causes of why those symptoms emerged in the first place, and they have to do with you.

Any relationship, including marriage, is an exchange of value. When two people meet, they’re drawn to each other because they see the value the other person brings to the table. They see that the other person is caring, loving, supportive, vibrant, confident, smart, calm and leading a life of purpose. They see value in forming a unit. These positive qualities create attraction and help build the connection.

However, attraction can grow or fade over time depending on how each person evolves as a human being. As time goes on and life’s stressors take their toll, people change, and not always in a good way. As individuals, they are not as compassionate as they used to be, so they no longer treat each other the way they did before. Their patience runs thin. They’re unable to listen to each other as they once did. Individually, they are not as happy, easy-going and fun to be around. Consequently, their respective value in each other’s eyes begins to fade. The lack of connection, the broken communication and the mounting complaints are a result of these circumstances.

Here Is a Big Secret of Marital Revival

The best way that I have found to turn a failing marriage around is by focusing inward and becoming the best possible version of yourself. If you become less stressed, less reactive, more peaceful, more patient, more loving, more compassionate and happier, not only will you have a better life, but you will also raise your value as a human being. Your spouse is likely — if not certainly — to become more attracted to you. And if your spouse raises their value, you will most likely become more attracted to them. It simply makes sense.

Here’s the good news. As an elite achiever, your personality traits can serve you very well in this endeavor. The fixation on success can work wonders when applied to personal transformation, and that will have an immensely positive impact on your marriage.

I’ve seen couples go from living in separate houses to rekindling their love and creating stronger passion than they had when they first met.

Every success story I’ve seen has one thing in common. They all looked within and committed themselves to their personal evolution. They tapped into their ultimate strength, enhanced their value as human beings and took their love and their lives to unprecedented heights.

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