Maryland’s Lizzie Colson has gone from the top of lacrosse to its depths and is rising again

“We went from the pinnacle to the depths in an afternoon,” her mom, Laura, said. “And the beginning of crawling out of that started.”

Colson remembers the doctor telling her she had a “textbook” case of a torn ACL, but she didn’t want to believe it. She had never suffered a major injury until that final session of the tryouts. On a draw control, Colson bobbled the ball, and as she turned her knee gave out. She felt a pop, then fell to the ground. Before an MRI exam confirmed the injury, Colson received text messages from the Maryland staff. Coach Cathy Reese later told Colson that she cried when she found out while inside a College Park bagel shop.

During a short stretch that summer, Colson thought maybe this would be the end of her lacrosse career. She couldn’t envision making it back to the heights she had reached. That short-lived thought offered some relief to Colson’s mom. It seemed like a less risky route that didn’t present the danger of falling short. But that idea faded, replaced by Colson’s commitment to a year-long climb back and a fifth season with the Terrapins.

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The summertime injury meant Colson could have rushed back, possibly in time for the 2020 season. To Reese, that didn’t seem fair to the standout player who, she said, “deserves a full year to play.” This season turned into that showcase. Colson is nearly two years removed from the injury and has had plenty of healthy practice time. She is the Big Ten defender of the year and leads the nation with 42 caused turnovers.

The Terps (9-6) aren’t one of the eight seeded teams in the NCAA tournament, so they’ll travel to Durham, N.C., to begin play Friday against High Point (10-7). Maryland is the last national champion, but this team is somewhat inexperienced, particularly in postseason play after last year’s season was cut short by the pandemic. So Colson and the few others who had significant roles on that 2019 title-winning team can offer valuable guidance during the most important time of the season.

As Colson began the long wait for this opportunity to play, she knew what to expect from the physical recovery. She is one of five children, and all four sisters have played college lacrosse. Colson became the third to tear her ACL, and her mom joked, “I’d rather be proficient at something else.” (Beanie, the youngest of the daughters and the only one who has evaded serious knee trouble, is a senior midfielder at Mount St. Mary’s. Her team also begins the NCAA tournament in Durham and will face seventh-seeded Duke just hours before Maryland plays. The teams would meet in the second round if they both win.) Even with the family’s experience with torn ACLs, the mental toll of the injury came as a surprise to Colson.

Reese describes the star defender as someone who radiates energy. But during the rehabilitation, Colson felt drained and was “trying to latch on to any kind of Lizzie I had left.” She remembers feeling isolated when she couldn’t get in the water during a family beach trip. Colson thought the return to College Park for the fall semester would help, but she said she continued “hurting a lot in silence.” Teammates would laugh coming off the field after practice, and she couldn’t join them because she had spent her time in the training room instead.

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“I didn’t want my teammates to see me as the injured girl or see me as less-than because I’m not the happy person,” Colson said. “And I wanted to be that for my teammates. I wanted to be the supportive, cheering captain who’s everything for them. I just couldn’t be that at the time.”

One day during the fall semester, assistant coach Lauri Kenis asked Colson how she was doing. Colson said she responded with “the fakest smile.” Kenis noticed, and their conversation prompted Colson to visit Maryland’s sports psychologist, Michelle Garvin.

“It was just a spot for me to be myself and to be like, ‘I am not doing okay,’ ” Colson said. “And that was completely okay in that four-by-four room. I didn’t have to be the perky captain. I didn’t have to put on a brave face. I could just break down.”

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Colson continued talking with Garvin for a few months and also met with a group of injured lacrosse players every Tuesday. She started journaling and learned how to ask for help. She channeled her focus toward lifting the spirits of others. When a young lacrosse player reached out to Colson on Instagram about her ACL recovery, she wished she could easily share what she learned. Within a week, she ordered podcasting equipment and has created a platform for athletes to share stories about mental health.

Colson plans to attend graduate school to study clinical mental health counseling and become a sports psychologist. Before the injury, she saw coaching as her probable career path. She still hopes to stay involved with lacrosse — and next year, she could be a graduate assistant for a college program — but after her time spent with Garvin, Colson said: “I saw how she impacted people, and I was like, ‘That’s what I need to do.’ I’ve never felt so excited.”

Just after the injury, Colson’s mom knew her daughter needed to approach the recovery through small steps. They filled a sheet of black paper with milestones, such as walking up stairs and bending her knee to 45 degrees. Each accomplishment earned what Colson’s mom called a “big, chunky, gaudy sticker” that looked like a jewel. If the targets had been narrowed to only knee-related breakthroughs, Colson might have gone weeks without marking one off the list because of the gradual nature of the recovery. So she added unrelated goals — practice her ukulele, decorate her crutches and paint a jewelry tray.

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“It’s to reinforce that you are not your body,” Colson’s mom said. “You are not your ACL. And this was before we knew if she would go back [to lacrosse], so there are other things to do. There are other things to be and learn.”

Colson needed a cleanup surgery in January 2020. During the shortened season, Colson’s teammates voted her to be a captain and she tried to help from the sideline. She didn’t play lacrosse until last July, over a year since the injury. She heard stories of athletes re-tearing their ACLs and worried about getting hurt again. Colson called her mom crying on her way to a pickup game with Maryland teammates. But once she started playing, her knee felt strong and sturdy. It all felt natural, and it marked a major step toward returning to play for the Terps. She called her mom on the drive home — still crying, but this time from happiness.

“It’s so scary,” Colson’s mom said. But “it’s so joyful, because: ‘Wow, we made it. We got back. We’re here. This is the moment. This is the day that you have worked so hard for.’ ”

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