MAFS 2024 Recap Episode 21: Tori’s Delulu Audacity Is Legit Painful To Watch At This Point

Brace yourselves for Tori to be schooled during the MAFS 2024 Episode 21 recap. I’ll require a refund for anything less.

Stephen has the ick and so you know what? So would I if someone tried to fist-pump me.

no

Timothy and Lucinda are “rock solid” but as far as I can tell, their nether-regions are still neither rock nor solid (nor moist) as Daddy Light intended.

Not mad just disappointed

Jack‘s freaking out about Tori‘s plans for the future which is interesting considering he went on a marriage show. Better they know now I guess? Before they bang and she grows a deeper connection to him than the one that somehow already exists.

I will come for your JAGular

Ok let’s not fuck around. It’s time.

Ellie and Ben are up first and let’s just remove the dead weight at this point, shall we?

Ellie is confused and thinks she’s going crazy, with MAFS expert Mel Schilling clarifying that’s the definition of being gaslit.

Did u not watch seasons six, seven, eight, nine or 10?

Ben spews some stuff about much he likes Ellie which makes literally no sense after he broke up with her in front of everyone’s salad.

MAFS expert John Aiken asks Ben if he hears himself. Valid question.

Bc I heard the song lyrics you loosely based on me and I want blood

Ben replies with some more nonsensical shit before John interrupts him with an iconic,“Stop it!”

BRB making one million memes.

Ellie admits that she slept with Ben. Like, just now? We never really saw their honeymoon. Anyway, the way he speaks to her makes her feel like shit and damages her self-esteem.

I didn’t ask for u to be from the Gold Coast but

John suggests Ben show emotion towards Ellie before chucking a Bronte Schofield and telling Ben he’s “done”.

They both choose to leave but Ben has left yet another footnote on his decision card. Don’t worry, I grabbed a screenshot for you all.

ya welcome

NEXT.

Are Eden and Jayden in love? Eden is at a 7 out of 10 and Jayden is at a 9.5 on the love scale. Guess that near-perfect relationship you were telling Timothy about ain’t so perfect, huh?

They stay. So do Tristan and Cass, who have graduated from their Year 5 couch hugs to Year 8 PDA.

I feel a dry root coming on by final vows

Jade and Ridge also stay, which is good news for my mother who has taken a liking to these two objective hotties.

Where the fuck’s the drama? Dicky? Can I count on you?

I think I have to because Andrea is struggling to speak. Can someone please give this woman a Strepsil? Is she OK? She seems unwell, right?

Babe have a lie down I’m worried about you

Our once-golden couple have been at it — and not in the way you’d think. He reckons she’s not trying! But she thinks she is!

We have not gazed, sucked or fucked in seven days

She says she hasn’t been feeling it, but does still have feelings for Dicky that were just obstructed by things like him not choosing her first in the photo ranking challenge. It’s making her feel flat but all in all, she has hope.

Dicky would like to blow that proverbial flame of possibility but accidentally chokes on it in the process.

WRONG HOOOLEE

Can we get RAT tests for these two?

They both choose to stay and sorry, but DID I OR DID I NOT CALL THAT SHE’D BUST OUT RIHANNA LYRICS WHEN WRITING STAY THIS WEEK?! (I did — here’s the proof.)

Where’s Shazam when you need it?

The KID LAROI next week? Or “Leaving On A Jet Plane”? TBC.

Timothy and Lucinda are on the couch for an entire five seconds before Jayden, his nerve and opinions interject.

Fuck off infant

Timothy reminds Jayden that he’s 27.

THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION

Timothy and Lucinda reflect on Daddy Light politely asking Timothy to traverse through the frequency of magnificently fucking his daughter. That sounded bad but you know what I mean.

Lucinda chooses to stay while expressing that her decision is with a “one week at a time” lens.

Timothy stays with an exclamation mark which is simply just too much for me to digest. The only punctuation this man uses are periods and I refuse to believe otherwise.

Anyway, it’s nice to see an exclamation mark in the flesh that isn’t deleted upon the 17th scan of an email.

Enthusiasm is the frequency we project and our punctuation is such a spell

NEXT.

Michael is now on the couch telling the MAFS experts how well he and Stephen are doing. I truly cannot watch this knowing what we now know (that Stephen has the ick).

Fist pumps are rank

Stephen then bursts his delulu bubble and says that Michael is a good-looking guy but he doesn’t have the hots for him just yet.

How good’s televised humiliation

He’s willing to wait it out, as is Michael, so they both stay.

Lauren and Jono have moved past the muzzle comment but sadly she has “zero romantic feelings at this point”.

He can suck his own dick

She admits that he is perfect on paper but thinks the banter and spark is missing in this relationship.

Jono thinks she’s the “funniest person” ever and that she lights up the room, however, he doesn’t see a whole lot of that when it’s just them two.

Bc I don’t like u

The experts want them to get out of their comfort zone and have deeper convos, which they reckon they’ll be doing after choosing to both write stay.

NEXT.

Sara thinks she is “too much” for Tim but actually, no, Tim says that’s exactly his type so they stay.

Fuck I was hoping I’d scare u off

NEXT.

Tori and Jack are up and I know immediately that Jack doesn’t give a fuck about his wife. Why? He has asked her to forfeit her good side so they can instead play musical couch cushions. He would like her side of the couch this week.

it’s not fkn funny

Tori is blaming Timothy’s general existence for getting “feral” at the dinner party last night. In fact, she even dares to say that Timothy’s comment to Jayden that he’s “nothing” was “just as destructive” as Jack’s muzzle comment.

what the literal fuck Aren’t the infants meant to be woke

Literally no one is having a fucking bar of that, especially our lord and saviour, John.

He asks Tori what everyone’s been thinking: Why the fuck didn’t you blow up about the muzzle comment in the way you blew up about the “nothing” comment?

She says she was angry about the nothing comment, but disappointed about the muzzle comment.

whatever helps ya sleep at night, mummy

John says there are women in the room rolling their eyes at her right now. And on their couches at home too!

John then asks Jack how serious his relationship with Tori is before losing his entire neck in the process.

so ur telling me u still haven’t fucked yet

It would appear that Tori’s best friend, Lea, has once again rattled Jack. But it’s not because she thinks he’s a misogynist at his core living in the 1950s! But because she noticed a difference in Tori that she hadn’t seen before.

I cannot have my wife’s friends see right through me

Tori admits she’s never shown this side of herself in a relationship and that if Jack doesn’t reciprocate, she’ll close up for good — emotions and willingness to date, I’m assuming.

But also I will come back for Season 12 if you’ll have me

This makes Jack nervous because he knows this relationship is getting serious and he’s concerned he’ll let her down. 

“Her affection’s probably surpassing mine,” Jack says, admitting that she’s “maybe a little bit” more into him than he is into her.

NO SHIT SHERLOCK YA DICK’S FLACCIDITY MADE THAT KINDA OBVIOUS.

So this is why I haven’t copped a dicking?

Tori tells Jack that if he wants to go then he should go nowwwww. I have chosen to translate this to mean: if you’re gonna dump me at the end of this, do it now so I hurt less.

She says it would really “fuck her off” if she found out he was wasting her time.

“Keep that in mind,” she warns.

Am I meant to feel threatened by that?

This all feels really healthy!!!!

Tori is like “what the hall” off camera and no that was not a typo.

Um, next MAFS recap should be lit because it looks like Stephen (!!!) cheats, Timothy breaks down and, less surprisingly, Jack does something fucked.

See you there! Or on my Instagram in the meanwhile.