November 7, 2024

Indiana Jones Game’s Version Of Harrison Ford Is Extremely Hot

Indiana Jones #IndianaJones

Thanks to today’s Xbox Developer Direct, we’ve finally got the long-awaited details of the upcoming Indiana Jones game from Bethesda-owned studio and Wolfenstein developer MachineGames. It’s called Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, it swaps between first- and third-person, you can choose to be stealthy or go in fists flying, and Troy Baker is voicing the iconic professor—but none of that matters. What matters is how MachineGames has managed to so faithfully recreate the unassailable hotness of ‘80s Harrison Ford.

If you have ever seen any Indiana Jones or Star Wars film, you are well aware of how damn fine Ford was in his youth (and still is now, let’s be honest). The blue-collar vibes and slightly sardonic attitude mixed with a full head of dirty blonde hair, sumptuous lips, and bold nose made him the kind of hot that is difficult to describe. It’s not an uncanny beauty, but a grounded, almost regular beauty, like the sexiest cowboy at the local line dance. He had the body of a man who could build you a house and the intelligence of one who could quote Shakespeare from memory.

Screenshot: Bethesda / Xbox

George Lucas and Steven Spielberg were clearly well-versed in Ford’s furiously hot existence, as in those early films he so frequently has a few buttons undone on his shirt, to afford us parched people a view of a glistening, muscular chest covered in a faint whisper of hair. When I saw him fully shirtless and glistening like a Thanksgiving turkey in Temple of Doom, my face almost melted off like that Nazi’s in Raiders of the Lost Ark. The man is finer than wine, so I was naturally concerned that MachineGames would either choose to avoid attempting to recreate Ford’s face, or that they’d try to do so and it would instead fall into the pits of the uncanny valley.

When the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Great Circle finally panned away from the bad guy to show us Indy buried up to his chin in the sand, I was oh-so-pleasantly surprised to see a very handsome face staring back at me. The forehead wrinkles, the strong brows, that horizontal scar slashed across his chin like an em dash—video game Indiana Jones is hot! He could get it! Does this mean it’s going to be a good game? I don’t care!

Indiana Jones and the Great Circle is dropping later this year on Xbox Series X/S and PC, and will be available day one on Game Pass.

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