I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day, or whatever

Someone asked me if I was going to stay up until midnight to text Charlotte, my girlfriend, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” The loading icon refreshed in my brain as I remembered that the next day was Feb. 14, Valentine’s Day. Admittedly, this holiday has never been my favorite. I’ve never quite embraced it. My friends and family blamed it on my lack of a romantic partner, assuring me that once I found one, my perspective would change. 

I entertained this notion for some years, attributing my feelings to mere bitterness and envy triggered by the seemingly perfect couples highlighted on my Instagram feed. Maybe red roses weren’t as cliché as I made them out to be, maybe the flood of Valentine’s stories weren’t as trivial as I thought and maybe receiving heart-shaped chocolates does hold a special significance that I’ve always overlooked.

Well, friends and family, I’ve finally done it. For the first time ever, I am in a relationship on Valentine’s Day. The relationship itself is more than I could ever ask for; I feel very loved and fulfilled.

I could not be happier and still, I forgot to send the “Happy Valentine’s Day” text on Feb. 14 when I first woke up for my 8 a.m. class. It wasn’t until I was on my way home that I saw a man crossing the street with roses, clearly on a mission, that I remembered and immediately pulled out my phone to text my girlfriend. The worst part is that I wasn’t even surprised that I’d forgotten.

I got up that morning feeling the way I felt every Wednesday, stressed about my busiest day of the week. As the day went on, I received flowers and personalized Valentine cards from friends which surprised me — not their thoughtfulness, but the fact that people not even in a relationship remembered the holiday more than I did, and also wanted to celebrate it in some way or another.

As I listened to people in relationships discuss their Valentine’s Day and night plans, I felt a pinch of guilt because I had no plans for my girlfriend. We are long distance, however, so this rescued me from the fear of possibly disappointing her because I was too busy to hang out on Valentine’s Day. 

While I didn’t feel a strong urge to celebrate, to do nothing also felt wrong. So I ordered, of course, red roses and chocolate, to be delivered 270 miles away. Then, I reminded myself of mankind’s infinitesimal existence before hitting “share” on the picture of my girlfriend and me to be posted on my Instagram story. 

I sat alone in my room after, not feeling much different beside a small alleviation of guilt. Some remained though, forcing me to face the truth: single or taken, I still believe that red roses are cliche, posting for Valentine’s Day is silly and gifting heart-shaped chocolates is pointless. 

This day creates pressure around people in relationships to have extravagant plans, fancy gifts and, sometimes, unrealistic expectations. From what I’ve seen, most individuals either wind up spending a lot of money (sometimes too much) or end up feeling hopeless and alone after witnessing couples display the most idealized moments of their relationship when the reality is likely to be very different.  

I suppose I am perpetuating this cycle by participating in all the things I claim to dislike about Valentine’s Day. However, if it were simply up to me, I wouldn’t celebrate it. Some may argue that it is because I am not with the right person, but I couldn’t disagree more. I happily experience and indulge in elements of Valentine’s Day, every day. I don’t need an excuse to take my girlfriend out for dinner and get her flowers, just as I don’t need a reason to tell my friends and family that I love them.

I love love and by no means does my anti-take on Valentine’s Day make me a cynic or a soulless person. This scapegoat is untrue and plain offensive to those like myself who see the harmful effects of Feb 14. 

All in all, I just can’t get behind this day — a time that feels like a staged exhibition of love that society takes advantage of to gain a profit. 

But in retrospect, I hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day or whatever!