I faked orgasms until I got sober — now I’m having the best sex of my life

Cut out the cocktails if you want to climax.

New Yorker Tawny Lara was terrified at the thought of dating when she quit drinking eight years ago, just before her 30th birthday.

“The thought of socializing or dating, let alone having sex without alcohol, it just truly seemed impossible,” the author of “Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze” told The Post.

The former bartender and self-proclaimed party girl realized that most of the social and sexual interactions she’d had as an adult involved a few shots of tequila or pitchers of beer.

Despite her initial fears, Lara soon realized that being sober had enhanced her romantic efforts.

“Dating changed for me because I really started to set standards,” Lara said. “My tolerance for bullshit just got lower. I think the orgasm part in particular.”

Sober singles are saying their sex lives are way better without booze. Shutterstock

“I faked orgasms until I sober,” she admitted.

The first time she had sex sober — outside of a long-term relationship — Lara realized she didn’t want to put on a performance and pretend to climax.

“I told him, ‘This is usually the point where I start to dial up the theatrics, like, I would start faking an orgasm, and I don’t want to do that anymore,’” she recounted. “Breaking that down and figuring out what I wanted a sexual experience to be was groundbreaking.”

“The thought of socializing or dating, let alone having sex without alcohol, it just truly seemed impossible,” Tawny Lara, author of “Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze,” told The Post. Robert Riese Photography Tawny Lara, seen here working the bar in her 20s, was terrified at the thought of dating or being intimate when she quit drinking right before her 30th birthday. Tawny Lara

And the party girl turned sober sexpert isn’t the only one who felt sexed up when she sobered up.

It’s easy for singles who stopped drinking to see the upsides to sobriety in their sex lives, including many of psychotherapist Dr. Lee Phillips‘ clients.

“Alcohol can make you horny when you start drinking,” the certified sex and relationship counselor based in New York City told The Post “But then once you’re in the thick of it and you’re having sex, it causes a lot of problems.”

Certain physiological reactions to sex can be hindered by alcohol, including failure to orgasm.

When intoxicated, women are more likely to experience uncomfortable or painful sex, called dyspareunia, caused by restricted lubrication while men become prone to erectile dysfunction as alcohol decreases the blood flow to the genitals.

Beyond facilitating your body’s peak performance, there are also psychological reasons why avoiding alcohol on a date can fuel your friskiness.

“There’s something very erotic and very hot about that presence with your partner when you’re having sex and the pleasure that you can receive and you can feel more in your body and get creative during sex,” Phillips said.

Hilary Sheinbaum was in her 20s when she began dry dating in New York City after she bet a friend she could outlast him for Dry January and enjoyed the effects it had on her both physically and socially.

“Some of the biggest myths about sober dating are that it’s boring or awkward. Truthfully, I found that to be quite the opposite,” Sheinbaum, founder of GoingDry.co and author of “The Dry Challenge,” told The Post. “Without alcohol, you can pick up on red flags or things that make you uncomfortable more quickly.”

She added that when opting for mocktails “people can be more intentional on dates so it’s easier to see if you really connect.”

“Some of the biggest myths about sober dating are that it’s boring or awkward. Truthfully, I found that to be quite the opposite,” Hilary Sheinbaum, founder of GoingDry.co and author of “The Dry Challenge.” Getty Images/iStockphoto

“You don’t have to be in recovery to live a sober lifestyle,” Sheinbaum insisted.

The millennial straight-edge advocate echoed her sober Gen Z successors as younger adults are increasingly more intentional with many aspects of their lives, including their physical and mental health.

Meanwhile, a Pew Research Center poll recently reported that most Americans believe adults 18 to 34 face more challenges today than their parent’s generation, particularly when it comes to finding a spouse.

The disheartening results suggest that it behooves young people to be clear-headed with their love lives.

“You’re going to figure out what you actually want on dates, and in the bedroom,” Lara insisted.