Hitched in Hants County? You probably called Lydia. After 60 years, she’s leaving the marriage licence business

ELLERSHOUSE, N.S. —

For more than six decades, Lydia Crossley has helped love birds tie the knot.

Whether they were first-timers or had been through the process before, Crossley has provided countless couples with the necessary permits to get hitched.

And now, after 61.5 years, she’s retired from her provincial post as deputy issuer of marriage licences for Hants County.

To keep at it for six decades has been a labour of love.

“I issued them day and night and on weekends,” said Crossley, smiling.

“I don’t know whether I was supposed to sell them on Sundays or not but I did. I’d date it for Saturday though, just in case. It didn’t matter to me what time they came or when they came,” she said with a chuckle.

Crossley was the person to visit in the Centre Burlington area if you were seeking to get married.

She had the proper paperwork, the authorization from the province, and she had the type of personality that put people at ease.

For her, it was a privilege to be able to help people navigate the marriage licence requirement.

She said the position sometimes resulted in some early morning and late night house calls.

Crossley vividly remembers one such early morning visitor. The young hopeful arrived on her doorstep at 1 a.m.

“I said to my husband (Luke), ‘there’s somebody knocking on the door.’ So, he went to the door and it was a young man, 20-say, and he’d been to the legion for Saturday night, early Sunday morning, and he wanted to get a marriage licence,” she said.

“I thought that was strange. But I got up and sold a licence.”

Lydia Crossley sold her final marriage licence certificate in March 2021 — more than 61 years after her first one. – Contributed

As has been the case for decades, a marriage licence is required for someone in the province to get married. They’re only valid for three months.

Crossley, who grew up in Centre Burlington, first started issuing marriage licences in August of 1959. Her aunt, Millie Nichols, retired that year due to poor eyesight and recommended Crossley to the province to carry on the tradition.

In the early days, she predominantly provided marriage licences to people living along the shore, whether they were from the Burlingtons or Summerville, Cogmagun, Riverside or Walton.

When she moved to Ellershouse 11 years ago, her territory expanded. She’s also helped out-of-province couples arrange marriage licences before coming to Nova Scotia to get married.

“It’s more complicated now than it was then,” said Crossley, rocking in a cosy recliner, reflecting on the many changes that she’s witnessed.

Lydia Crossley, sitting in front of a bookshelf featuring cherished family photos, says she’s had some interesting experiences while serving as a deputy issuer of marriage licences for the provincial government — a job she held for more than six decades. – Carole Morris-Underhill CHANGES ABOUND

“Years ago, when I first took it over, you just filled out on the affidavit that you were divorced or widowed or single. Now you have to have proof,” she said, adding that she has to see the divorce papers, which are then photocopied and included in the application that gets sent to Halifax.

People also have to have a valid ID, which also gets copied and sent to Halifax.

Previously, only one person had to apply for a marriage licence. Now, both have to be in attendance to fill out the affidavits.

“Somebody called me and wanted to buy one to give his girlfriend as a Christmas present. I said, ‘I’m sorry, we can’t do that.’ But they came after Christmas and got their licence,” said Crossley.

She said the changes to the requirements have been positive overall.

“Now, two people have to come to the house together to get the licence, but they get it right while they’re here — they don’t have to wait the five-day period,” she said.

When she first started, couples had five days to change their mind. She said she never witnessed a case where they got cold feet and didn’t want to proceed with the marriage licence.

“It was a piece of foolishness as far as I’m concerned! It didn’t do any good,” she said, with a laugh.

And the cost has climbed significantly. A marriage licence cost $5 in the 1950s; it’s now $132.70.

Lydia Crossley, flanked by her daughters Marilyn Redden, left, and Karen Crowe, said she enjoyed spending more than six decades helping people get married. – Contributed

Crossley said she has really enjoyed meeting the couples over the years and has many fond memories.

She can’t wager a guess at how many people she has provided marriage licences to — with some people being repeat customers.

That said, she doesn’t recall selling a licence to the same couple twice.

“I find people are older now when they get married,” she said when asked about marriage trends, noting she hasn’t had to ask an applicant to seek their parents’ consent for several years.

In Nova Scotia, signed consent is required if the applicant is between 17 and 18 years of age. No one 16 and under are permitted to get married — another change that Crossley has born witness to.

While Crossley was serving as the deputy issuer of marriage licences, she also worked for about 30 years at Nova Scotia Textiles in Windsor, starting in 1972 and receiving her final pay at the start of 2003.

Additionally, she held the position of register of births and deaths for the Burlington district until the mid-70s.

“That all fell by the wayside. I haven’t had to issue a burial permit or a birth certificate for years and years and years,” said Crossley.

Crossley, who was married to Luke until his death in 2000, has two children, Marilyn Redden and Karen Crowe, four grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. Now that she’s retired, she’s looking forward to spending more time with her family.

Glenn Young and his fiancée Christine Garber made their way from Bridgetown to Ellershouse in March in order to have Lydia Crossley provide them with their marriage licence. The couple intend to tie the knot in May. – Contributed LAST LICENCE ISSUED

Crossley has several notebooks, filled with the names of people she helped to get marriage licences. The notebooks are confidential — not something she shares with others.

The last licence she sold went to Glenn Young.

“We were neighbours since I was a young, young child, and I’m 48 years old,” said Young, who now lives in Bridgetown.

He travelled from Annapolis County with his bride-to-be Christine Garber to Crossley’s home in Ellershouse on a Saturday in March.

Young went to Crossley for his first marriage licence many years ago, and when he saw that she was still providing in-person services, he knew he wanted to see her again.

“I did a quick search on the government website and saw she was still doing it,” said Young.

“I actually messaged her son-in-law Paul… and asked if Lydia is still doing them. He said ‘yes; I think she only has one left,’” Young continued.

“I asked for her number and called her right away. She did only have one left so I told her to put it aside for myself and Christine.”

Young said Crossley has always been a thoughtful, community-minded individual, always willing to help.

“Growing up, Lydia was always involved in the community. I find back in those years, the late 70s and early 80s, there was always something going on in the community. She was always a big part of that — her, and my aunts and my parents. They all took part in fundraising for the community hall and that type of thing,” said Young.

“Lydia was just a nice lady and a very good community person.”

Young, who is planning to have an intimate wedding on May 29, said being able to get the licence in person versus applying online helped personalize the process.

“I know with Christine, we were just as happy to go see Lydia and get it done in person and know that it was done,” said Young.

“Hopefully, they can continue with that tradition and find someone that can do it.”

Crossley officially ceased her marriage licencing duties in March 2021.

Crossley put forward a recommendation for her replacement, but she hasn’t heard from Nova Scotia’s Vital Statistics.

“I wish they would appoint somebody because it’s so convenient for people.”

Tracy Baron, a communications officer with the Province of Nova Scotia, said in an email that private deputy issuers across the province can provide marriage licenses for a fee.

“With this retirement after 60 years of service — our longest-serving deputy issuer — we have nine private deputy issuers,” Baron noted.

On the website, those issuers are located in Cape Breton Regional Municipality (Sydney), Cumberland (Advocate), Guysborough (Goldboro), HRM (Upper Musquodoboit), Kings (Grand Pre), Pictou (River John), Richmond (Arichat), Shelburne (Barrington Passage) and Victoria (Baddeck).

When asked if Crossley’s Hants County position would be filled, Baron said people can obtain a marriage licence via Access Nova Scotia.

Although it didn’t happen often, Lydia Crossley was sometimes called upon to issue marriage licences, and death certificates, in the wee morning hours. – Carole Morris-Underhill