Halloween is a lot of work; parents deserve a treat, too

McAllister

Whether you buy it to hoard, buy it to pass out, collect at doorsteps or steal from your kids, there is no denying that Halloween wouldn’t be Halloween without candy.

Not every piece of candy is as valuable as every other piece. If you don’t believe me, ask a kid which house gives out full-size candy bars. There’s always one. And everyone knows.

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As a parent that grew up in the 80s, when we had to have our parents sort through our loot looking for tampered wrappers or hidden razor blades, I now find myself questioning why my mom sifted through.

She never really found anything — we lived in a safe little suburban neighborhood. I wonder if she wasn’t even looking for hypodermic needles … maybe she was just looking for Butterfingers to confiscate for my own “safety.”

There was never any question about the Milk Duds or the SweetTarts, which just happened to be her least favorites.

Listen up, kids. Parents work hard for Halloween. We deal with your ever-changing ideas for costumes. We haul you around the neighborhoods in rain, sleet, snow, wind and tropical temperatures. We have to constantly remind you to stay off the grass and say thank you so many times that our voices are hoarse and it takes every last bit of energy we have to haul your bonus pumpkin around.

You know how you can repay us for all of this, right?

A totally nonofficial internet poll revealed that the number one way to repay your parents is a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. It doesn’t matter if it’s shaped like a pumpkin or a little round orb of delight, most parents will be happy to have one. Or two.

Other highly valued candy includes Kit Kats and Almond Joy because even moms sometimes feel like a nut. (Sometimes they don’t.) Twix and Butterfingers also rank high, along with anything involving dark chocolate, which adults pretend is a health food.

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But sometimes, our lovely kids don’t offer up those goodies, and instead, we are left with the least popular candies. Often, this means Tootsie Rolls. All sorts of Tootsie Rolls — the traditional chocolate variety or the fruity versions that only slightly resemble the flavor on the wrapper.

Even less popular than those are things that pretend to be banana flavored and the infamous Necco wafer, a true taste of nostalgia that not many appreciate anymore.

So kids, keep your parents in mind this Halloween season. Know that one Reese’s Cup is worth about three Twizzlers and at least five flavored Tootsie Rolls. An Almond Joy is worth two Skittles. And 10 pennies wrapped in a tissue pretending to be a ghost is still only worth a dime.

Reach Karrie McAllister at mckarrie@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on The Daily Record: Top Halloween candy for parents and why kids should give it up