Glastonbury has given up on rock –and turned into a children’s birthday party

Is this Glastonbury Festival or Party in the Park? The announcement of breakout British dance pop star Dua Lipa and freshly minted US RnB star SZA as main stage headliners alongside Coldplay – the most poptastic rock adjacent band on the planet – makes this the poppiest, shiniest and most mainstream youth-oriented Glastonbury bill in … well, ever.

Throw in relentlessly upbeat 1990s housewives favourite Shania Twain in the legend slot, and you have got a festival line up that looks more like something BBC Radio One and Two might have concocted for one of their jolly pop picnics, rather than an old hippy celebration of alternative music culture.

All it needs to complete the impression that the kids have taken over is a K-pop star … oh wait, there they are, Korean boy band Seventeen, filling out the Pyramid stage bill with their enthusiastically mimed, slickly choreographed dance routines. At least Shania Twain can rest easy knowing that she won’t be the only star at Glastonbury pretending to sing along to backing tracks.

After all the speculation thrown out about music legends Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, Billy Joel and untouchable global superstar Taylor Swift, the actual Glastonbury headline bill looks a bit less vintage jukebox and more like the excitable soundtrack to a children’s birthday party. I would never describe it as disappointing. These are world class talents, some of the most exciting and crowd pleasing artists on the planet today. But it does feel like a profound shift not just in demographics but in tone. It is a line up that is all bubble and fizz and hey, are you having a good time kids?

Certainly the gender, age and racial balance has been addressed, swinging away from last year’s pale male stale headline bill to favour a more female and racially mixed lineup. And it is a lot more current than anything Glastonbury has attempted in years. Dua Lipa is a smart pick. She is the only genuinely global British star to have emerged in recent years, revving up for the release of her third album and guaranteed to put on a super-drilled hit packed show that will intrigue the uncommitted as well as delighting her fans.

Sunday night headliner SZA represent a more daring choice. Although the super modern RnB singer-songwriter only broke through to mainstream UK attention with last year’s hit Kill Bill, she is a critic’s favourite whose seductive yet fiercely intelligent songcraft has made her hugely significant to young female audiences (she headlined the genre focussed Wireless Festival in 2022 before she had ever scored a major UK hit). Between this pop sandwich Glastonbury offers the reliable singalong joys of festival favourites Coldplay, bouncing on to the stage like the labradoodles of rock, sure to cheer up even the most sceptical with their gormless, effervescent joy.

Coldplay’s Chris Martin – WireImage

Shania Twain was, of course, a mainstream superstar of the 1990s era, and fits right into this shiny bill. Everyone knows some of Twain’s slick country pop anthems, so there is no question she will keep the party going, despite suspicions that her voice is shot and there is a bit too much miming going on for those of us who remember when singers actually used to have to be able to sing live for their supper. Times have changed. And it looks like Glastonbury is changing too.

Of course, if you really don’t fancy being licked to death by Coldplay, dancing gymnastically with Dua and getting down with SZA, you can head over to the Other Stage, where alternative rock bands Idles and The National plus techno headbangers Disclosure offer an arguably more gritty alternative to the Pyramid’s new pop shine.

As ever with Glastonbury festival, it’s a very full bill, with lots of stages, lots of artists, lots of music of many varieties, catering to all kinds of tastes. It can be a mistake to read too much into the headline names. But for those who wondered where the headliners of the future were going to come from, well, here they are, plucked straight from the singles charts. Glastonbury has gone pop.

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