‘Glass Onion’ Delivers the Best Third Act of the Year
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This story contains spoilers for Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery.
I’ve been through a lot this year. In my personal life, sure, but we’re not going there. Let me be more specific: I’ve been through a lot this year in the last hour of feature films, when the CGI budget is blown and the frame rate reaches Sonic the Hedgehog levels of motion blur.
I watched an Avatar: The Way Water grand finale that was so f****** long that a little blue alien boy was tied to a railing twice in the same battle—and the second time he wailed, in his little baby voice, “Oh, no! I ‘m tied to the railing… again!” In Thor: Love and Thunder, an army of children fought bald Christian Bale. Shia, Shia! Damnit, reader, don’t make me do Don’t Worry Darling. (Does the ending of the Super Mario Bros. trailer also count?Chris Pratt, deadpan, like he’s seven Yuenglings deep and ready to go home: “Mush. Room. King. Dom. Herrrrre. Weeeeeee. Goooooooo.”) All let downs.
Imagine my surprise then, that when watching Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (now streaming on Netflix), I was surprised by the ending. Surprised! Delighted, even. Hands down, it’s the best third act of the year.
In the final 30 minutes or so, Daniel Craig’s weird and wonderful Benoit Blanc solves the case. We go on a hell of a trip to get there. Andi Brand (Janelle Monáe) isn’t Andi Brand, but rather her twin sister, Helen (Janelle Monáe)—who’s been in cahoots with Blanc the entire film. Andi didn’t commit suicide; she was poisoned by her former business partner, Miles Bron (Edward Norton). Of course, Bron also killed the Alex Jones avatar Duke Cody (Dave Bautista). All of the shenanigans, for the most part, were in the name of clearing a runway for his extremely dangerous hydrogen-based energy source (called Klear) to go to market.
After Blanc and Brand give their we-know-you-did-it spiel to Bron, there’s one last twist: the billionaire sets fire to the napkin Helen came halfway around the world to recover, AKA the one piece of incriminating evidence. And Glass Onion doesn’t backtrack on this. It’s really up in smoke. From there, Brand—using Bron’s flammable energy against him—smashes all the glass in the joint, sets fire to it, and throws a piece of Klear on it all. Mass destruction, right down to the Mona Lisa. All of Bron’s guests agree to testify against him in court, so the napkin’s services are officially no longer needed. But Brand’s rendezvous with Blanc is even more telling. Meeting at the end of the film, the detective asks, “Did you get the son of a b****?” Brand responds with a short, simple: “Yeah.”
I’ve been thinking of the way Glass Onion’s director, Rian Johnson, structured the film’s ending for a month now. There’s the obvious metaphor, of course: Glass Onion peels like… an onion. Layer by layer. The film slams to a halt when we get the Andi-is-Helen twist. Then, the film drives in reverse, showing us the events of Glass Onion from Andi’s perspective. We start truly unraveling this particular Knives Out mystery, reveal by reveal, layer by layer, peeling back and back again. When we finally get to the point when Andi starts smashing vases on the floor? The storytelling earns that level of chaos. It’s pure fun. In 2022, there were films that had incredible action blow-ups to bring you to the credits. There were also movies with such superb narratives that their third acts felt earned. Glass Onion might be the only film this year to do both. (I hear you, Battinson fans. I hear you.)
How about that explosion? Glass Onion—following its predecessor, which is so damn chill that some consider it a Thanksgiving movie—actually does dare to undermine itself with a big ol’ Michael Bay-style boom-boom. It works, somehow. What better cherry to put on top of Glass Onion’s rollicking madness than a big-ass, obnoxious fire? The pandemic sleeps beneath Glass Onion, from Ethan Hawke’s great COVID cureto the maskless party we glimpse at the beginning of the film. If anything, in the past few years we’ve learned that life can be unpredictable, senseless, and stupid. So why not give us an ending that literally sets fire to the greatest work of art ever created?
Before sending you out of here and into 2023, hopefully a better year for the movies, and for us all, I’d be remiss not to mention a few runners-up. Top Gun: Maverick’s last-act mission was a thrill, but I was too busy thinking about whether or not Mav died in space. Fresh’s rollicking, bloody chase around Sebastian Stan’s luxe Airbnb nearly took top honors, as did Everything Everywhere All at Once’s everything bagel-flavored trip through the multiverse. The best final scene might go to The Fabelmans and its wonderful, crabby cameo. But the closing minutes of Glass Onion? The most fun I had in a movie theater this year.