From Ming’s pants to cockatoo bans: the zeitgeist awards 2020

SNOOZE OF THE WORLD AWARD

Green leader Eamon Ryan always dreamt that one day he would be sitting in the Dáil with his party in government again, and then he woke up — and he was there.

The minister was pilloried just because he appeared to fall asleep in the chamber in July. How is anyone supposed to stay awake through those speeches?

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ZOOM PRIZE

The MEP Luke Flanagan was dubbed “Ming the Trouserless” after he attended the farming committee of the European Parliament in his underpants.

He said afterwards: “Who could have known that my legs would be so popular. Should I get them insured?”

It was one of a number of video-conferencing mishaps involving politicians. A local politician in northern Spain offered to quit after inadvertently broadcasting a video of himself showering during a meeting.

ODDEST BOOK TITLES

The Bookseller compiled its list of most unusual book titles of 2020. Among the oddball tomes were: How to Make Love to a Despot by Stephen D Krasner; A Dog Pissing at the Edge of a Path by Gregory Forth, and Introducing the Medieval Ass by Kathryn L Smithies.

SHOPPING WITH A PET AWARD

Are there any freedoms left? The panto legend Twink was banned from bringing her cockatoo into a local supermarket. SuperValu shoppers were somewhat taken aback when the entertainer appeared with the bird known as Timby perched on her shoulder. A friend told the Irish Sun: “This is like stopping the queen of England going into a shop with her corgis.”

THE VERY-MUCH-ALIVE AWARD

Reports of the deaths of about 100 unfortunate celebrities were a bit exaggerated by Radio France Internationale on its website. The station published obituaries of, among others, Queen Elizabeth, Brigitte Bardot and Pelé.

Happily, the “deceased” luminaries turned out to be very much alive and the station blamed a “technical error”.

IMPLAUSIBLE EXCUSE OF THE YEAR

Boris Johnson’s chief strategist Dominic Cummings faced calls to quit after it emerged that during the lockdown, and with a suspected case of Covid-19, he travelled with his wife and child from London to a Durham property. Cummings explained why he had driven to a nearby castle with his family — he said he wanted to test his eyesight before heading back to London.

THE ALTERNATE REALITY AWARD

The Trump administration takes the gong for the fourth year running.

As Democrat Joe Biden beat Trump by 7 million votes in November’s poll, Donald Trump declared in capitals on Twitter: “WE WON THE ELECTION.” And as the United States notched up the highest number of deaths from Covid-19 in the entire world, Trump’s press secretary Kayleigh McEnany declared: “I think the world is looking at us as a leader in Covid-19.”

The runner-up prize for flying in the face of reality goes to Taoiseach Micheál Martin, who said of the financial crash: “The banks were not bailed out.” He later said he misspoke.

ACCIDENTAL INVASION

The BBC reported that Poland admitted briefly invading the Czech Republic in May — by mistake. Polish troops took up positions by a chapel in north-eastern Moravia on the Czech side of the border and stayed for several days. The Polish Defence Ministry described the intrusion as a “misunderstanding”.

DOOMSCROLLING TO ZOOMBOMBING — PANDEMIC PATTER

With the arrival of the Covid-19 in February a whole new vocabulary of words and phrases went viral.

The country went into “lockdown” twice as workplaces, pubs, churches and restaurants shut down in a bid to “flatten the curve”. “Wet pubs” were closed for much longer.

Elderly people were told to “cocoon”, a grandiose term for being put under virtual house arrest. And everyone was instructed to engage in “social distancing” in order to avoid “superspreader” events.

Those who failed to follow the rules were branded “covidiots”.

As the video-conferencing app Zoom came of age in the crisis, those who intruded on private meetings were said to be “zoombombing”. And the popular pandemic pastime of pointing out the tasteless background decor in people’s homes was “zoomshaming”.

As the pandemic worsened, some took to the booze and poured a “quarantini”, an alcoholic drink consumed at home, while others were too busy “doomscrolling”, additively following grim coronavirus news.

Indo Review