England’s 26 for Qatar is hardly likely to cause a run on the pound

THEY’RE ON THEIR WAY, THEY ARE GARETH’S 26

All the waiting and speculation is over. Gareth Southgate held a press conference on Thursday afternoon, and now we know the names of the 26 lucky young men in with a chance of being scapegoated in the press, lampooned on television, ridiculed on podcasts, and abused on various social media disgraces when England get knocked out in the last 16 of the 2022 Human Rights World Cup. It’s an appalling ecosystem when you think about it. Unconscionable. The Fiver doesn’t know how much longer it can countenance being a part of it. Oh but for how much longer?!? Only time will tell.

The announcement wasn’t particularly dramatic, truth be told. Almost the entire make-up of the squad was pretty much as expected, predictable to the point that Sky Sports News, desperate to fire up its fun yellow ticker, desperately tried to convince their viewer that the thunderingly obvious inclusion of the in-form James Maddison was some sort of 48pt scrolling sensation. There were no jaw-dropping omissions – unless you count Ivan Toney, Tammy Abraham and Jadon Sancho, whose absences are hardly likely to cause a run on the pound – and no stories of any Gazzaesque feng shui improv-sessions in response to being left at home. All that was left were Southgate’s musings. Sigh.

He’s tried to get the balance right. The squad is more important than ever with five subs allowed. A party of 26 allows for a couple of risks you couldn’t take with 23. Maddison was happy. That sort of stuff. But he did add that England “stand for inclusivity” and “understand the challenges that this tournament brings” to the LGBTQ+ community. “If it wasn’t for [their] strength … we wouldn’t be women’s European champions.” He also predicted that swerving political chat during the next month, as per Fifa request-cum-diktat, will be “highly unlikely … we have always spoken about issues we feel should be talked about. But we would like to concentrate primarily on the carnival of football.” We’d like to wish Gareth all the best with that, something that from this remove, and with history as our guide, looks even more of a pipe dream than winning the whole damn thing.

The squad in full: Jordan Pickford (Everton), Nick Pope (Newcastle), Aaron Ramsdale (Arsenal); Trent Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool), Conor Coady (Everton), Eric Dier (Tottenham), Harry Maguire (Manchester United), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), John Stones (Manchester City), Kieran Trippier (Newcastle), Kyle Walker (Manchester City), Ben White (Arsenal); Jude Bellingham (Dortmund), Conor Gallagher (Chelsea), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), $exually Repressed Morris Dancing Fiver (Fiver Towers), Mason Mount (Chelsea), Kalvin Phillips (Manchester City), Declan Rice (West Ham); Phil Foden (Manchester City), Jack Grealish (Manchester City), Knackered Old Harry Kane (Tottenham), James Maddison (Leicester), Marcus Rashford (Manchester United), Bukayo Saka (Arsenal), Raheem Sterling (Chelsea), Callum Wilson (Newcastle).

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Our efforts were betrayed by a player with an unprofessional attitude. Mistakes are part of the game; footballers know they can mess up. But I don’t like unprofessional attitudes. I had 16 players on the pitch: I liked the attitude of 15. The other one, not so much” – yes, José Mourinho has reached the scapegoat stage of his Roma tenure, singling out an unnamed member of the team after a 1-1 draw at Sassuolo. Nicky Bandini has the skinny.

José Mourinho pointing the finger. Photograph: Serena Campanini/EPA

25 October: “We are extremely delighted to announce the renewal of Leam Richardson’s contract for the next three years” – Wigan Athletic chairman Talal al-Hammad rewards his manager, who helped lead the Latics back to the Championship last season.

10 November: “Having looked at the recent run of form that is challenging the team’s status, the board have made the decision to make a change” – Wigan give Richardson the boot … and surely a needlessly impressive pay-off.

RECOMMENDED LOOKING

David Squires’s latest HR World Cup special features the story of an invisible man.

Do give this your time. Illustration: David Squires/The Guardian RECOMMENDED LISTENING

The latest Football Weekly Extra podcast is right here, right now.

RECOMMENDED BOOKING

There are still a handful of tickets available to attend Football Weekly Live on 17 November in that London, plus plenty more if you’d rather stream it remotely.

FIVER LETTERS

“Can I be the 1,057th person to say that Nathan Jones is the first Premier League manager to share their name with a Supremes single (younger readers may recall the later Bananarama version)? It’s too early to know if Morecambe’s Donald Love will go into management as 50% of Baby Love” – Dave Sage (and no others).

“I have recently watched the tedious Netflix doc, The Figo Affair, which promised much and delivered very little. How could something which stretches minimal new or interesting content into a long and laboured riff on the state of modern football actually get issued out to the public as entertainment? Oh well, thankfully it’s a one-off and not something I’ll have to suffer through on a daily basis or anything” – Ian Potter.

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winners of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Ian Potter.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

England’s LGBTQ+ fans’ group have criticised David Beckham for taking the riyal as a paid ambassador for Qatar’s HRWC.

Jackson Irvine, the Australia midfielder, has urged players going to Qatar to speak out on human rights issues. “These few months provide a unique short window of time where the focus is so heavily on us,” he said. “It’s an opportunity not to be wasted.”

After picking Gareth Bale in his HRWC squad, Wales boss Rob Page claims the midfielder’s fitness is the “million-dollar question”. Joe Allen is also in there too.

The Wales squad announcement at Tylorstown in the Rhondda Valley. Photograph: Nick Potts/PA

Lionesses manager Sarina Wiegman says more needs to be done to address the lack of diversity in women’s football.

Nathan Jones thinks the grass is greener away from Luton – again – so has taken the vacant gig at Southampton. “This club in particular – because of how it’s run, because of the structure, because of how they look deeper than just results – really appeals to me,” he cheered, although The Fiver is unsure whether Ralph Hasenhüttl would agree.

Harry Kane is “really tired”, says Antonio Conte … but he was less loquacious about who picks the Spurs forward to play 90 minutes of every game, most recently Wednesday’s Milk Cup defeat at Nottingham Forest.

Elsewhere in the Littlewoods, Karl Hein endured a heinous debut in the Arsenal goal as Brighton claimed a 3-1 win on the road, Manchester City despatched Chelsea, Nick Pope helped Newcastle see off Crystal Palace on penalties, and Derby bothered taking spot-kicks of their own at Anfield even though Caoimhín Kelleher was in the Liverpool goal, before the inevitable happened. It all means that Charlton are the only London club left in the last 16.

Jürgen Klopp says he’s “committed” to Liverpool, whoever owns the club.

And Ricky Martin has been appointed technical director of Stoke because – wait for it – where else would one go to be upside, inside out and livin’ la vida loca?

STILL WANT MORE?

Andy Brassell went all the way to Cologne to bring you his latest Bundesliga blog, featuring the revival of Xabi Alonso’s Leverkusen.

Happy days for Leverkusen players. Photograph: Thilo Schmülgen/Reuters

More HRWC team guides for you … No 15: France and No 16: Tunisia.

Jacob Steinberg on the England squad.

World Cups make experts of us all, and the entire population of South Korea now knows everything there is to know about eye sockets and fractures. That’s the good news. And the other good news is that Son Heung-min looks like winning his battle to be fit for the HRWC– here’s John Duerden with more.

Gregg Berhalter has picked his USA! USA!! USA!!! squad and suppressed his preference for youthful dynamism by selecting Tim Ream.

Louise Taylor looks at the work Sunderland are doing to support their local community.

And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!

CHRISTMAS PARTY – YES, ALREADY – SHAME ODDS: UNWIN 3-1, DART 11-2, ASHDOWN 6-1, BREWIN 13-2, BLEANEY 8-1, CHRISTENSON 12-1, 16-1 BAR