Crystal Palace v Manchester United: Premier League – live!

5.27pm EST 17:27

Ok, here is Ed Aarons’ match report from a foggy Selhurst. I’ll leave you with that and thank you for your company, which was the best thing about that 93 minutes or so. Take care!

Manchester United 14 points behind City after dour draw at Crystal Palace

5.24pm EST 17:24

Man United visit Man City on Sunday – winning tonight wouldn’t have made the title race interesting but it would have set them up nicely for the derby.

5.16pm EST 17:16

Gary Cahill speaks: “Very pleasing. We know what their away form’s like. I thought we played really well, dug in when we had to, created half chances ourselves and I thought it was a really good performance. It was important we kept the line up, didn’t drop too deep. We knew we had to keep those lines close together and I think we frustrated them tonight. When you’re organised and in good shape you can spring from that and it makes it a lot easier. We did feel comfortable but still respectful that they have players who can change a game in a split second.”

5.13pm EST 17:13

“Well, I guess it’s far from a zebra,” sighs Peter Oh. “And it would be harsh to call it an aardvark [tip of the hat to Justin Kavanagh]. Harsh on aardvarks, that is. How about we call this one just a plain old alley cat? Street dog?”

One of those, but a dead one.

5.09pm EST 17:09

If they’d have just made the mist a touch thicker we wouldn’t have had to see much of that. Decent point for Palace, a “meh” one for United, and barely a thing to raise the interest after the 20th minute or so. The kind of through-the-motions game this winter has served us quite a few of, for largely understandable reasons.

The players trudge off. Photograph: Andy Hooper/NMC Pool

Updated at 5.47pm EST

5.03pm EST 17:03

Full-time: Crystal Palace 0-0 Manchester United

It’s … been a journey.

5.03pm EST 17:03

90+2 min: McTominay overhits a cross behind goal, and then the generally excellent Kouyate’s annoyed about something or other, but that’ll be about that.

5.01pm EST 17:01

90 min: Van Aanholt appears to have the best chance of the game but is thwarted when clean through by Henderson … although the flag actually goes up for offside.

Manchester United’s Dean Henderson makes a save from Crystal Palace’s Patrick van Aanholt. Photograph: Matthew Childs/Reuters

Updated at 5.06pm EST

4.59pm EST 16:59

89 min: Shaw blazes wide on his right foot. He and Maguire have been United’s best players by some way.

4.58pm EST 16:58

88 min: Phil Haran says it well – “Both these teams could go for a shower separately and return to find the score still 0-0. Only a giant whoopsie will change that. Neither have the wherewithal to break the other down.”

Updated at 4.59pm EST

4.56pm EST 16:56

86 min: Shaw is still trying to drive United on and earns them another corner. Bailly nods it into a threatening area but a Palace head does the required job.

Updated at 4.57pm EST

4.55pm EST 16:55

84 min: Palace can slow proceedings up, if that’s humanly possible, by introducing Schlupp for Eze.

4.53pm EST 16:53

82 min: Cracking effort from Greenwood, perhaps United’s most inventive. He checks in from the right and pulls out a thunderbolt from 20 yards, but it’s a foot or two over. They are just *starting* to look more menacing, but time is running out.

Manchester United’s Mason Greenwood goes close. Photograph: Adrian Dennis/Pool/Reuters

Updated at 5.19pm EST

4.51pm EST 16:51

81 min: Simon McMahon explains – “I think the Dazzle camouflage on Allied shipping during WWII was designed not to make them invisible, but rather to disorientate German U-boat commanders regarding how fast and in which direction the ship was actually travelling. You can insert your own punchline about any similarities between that and this game here …”

4.50pm EST 16:50

79 min: VAR looks quickly at an Eze barge on Bailly, but it’s something of nothing. Then a chance for James immediately! Shaw crosses and, I tell you what, Cavani would have buried that header. But the winger doesn’t get much on it and it skids wide off a defender. Palace deal with the corner. At last some purpose from United though.

4.47pm EST 16:47

77 min: James comes on for Cavani. Maybe he’ll add some thrust!

4.46pm EST 16:46

75 min: McTominay immediately appears in the box before being crowded out. We never saw Fred do that. Not enough ambition in this game from anyone so far, it’s become a bit of a stinker.

4.44pm EST 16:44

74 min: Still not a lot happening. McTominay is coming on for Fred, so let’s see if that perks things up at all.

4.42pm EST 16:42

72 min: Colum Fordham writes –

“Further to the equine discussion, the symbol of Napoli, who have just drawn a 3-3 thriller with Sassuolo in Serie A, is the donkey or ‘cuccio’ The name came about in the 1920s as a result of man who sold figs outside San Paolo stadium with a lame donkey. A Neapolitan sports journalist once compared the team’s lacklustre performance in a match to the donkey of the street-seller and the animal became the club’s ironic symbol. So Napoli fans now say ‘Forza Ciuccio’ as an alternative to Forza Napoli, ‘Come on Napoli’.”

Updated at 4.42pm EST

4.40pm EST 16:40

69 min: Matic has an optimistic effort charged down and then Rashford is pulled up for offside. It’s grim out there at the moment.

4.38pm EST 16:38

67 min: Still very little indeed going forward from United in this half. Palace won at Old Trafford on the opening day … is the double on?

It’s a bit misty down at Selhurst Park. Photograph: Tom Jenkins/NMC Pool/The Guardian

Updated at 4.45pm EST

4.35pm EST 16:35

64 min: Ohhhhh, Ayew stays onside down the right and pulls back for Benteke, who completely miskicks against his standing leg!

4.33pm EST 16:33

62 min: A Palace change – Riedewald on for the man who replaced him, McCarthy. It’s injury-enforced and McCarthy goes off looking pretty dejected.

4.32pm EST 16:32

61 min: “As a United fan in India, I can’t wait for us to draw to go to sleep. It’s almost 3am here and I have work tomorrow!” writes Jestine Joseph.

Hats off to you Jestine. I’m struggling to stay awake watching this and it’s only 9.30pm here.

4.30pm EST 16:30

59 min: Milivojevic pings it off the top of the wall … and then Townsend volleys only a couple of feet wide, with Henderson helpless, as the ball drops back down.

Nemanja Matic blocks Luka Milivojevic free kick. Photograph: Andy Hooper/NMC Pool

Updated at 4.57pm EST

4.29pm EST 16:29

58 min: Eze is fouled by Fred and Palace have a free-kick near the edge of the ‘D’ …

4.27pm EST 16:27

56 min: It’s hard to see where a goal comes from here at the moment, I have to say. It’s also getting mistier out there; it’s a damp old in south London.

4.24pm EST 16:24

54 min: Still too slow from United. Do they look a bit leggy? I think they might.

4.22pm EST 16:22

51 min: Ayew flashes an angled shot straight at Henderson after good work from Benteke. Nice spell from Palace.

4.21pm EST 16:21

50 min: Benteke takes a ball down well in the box, can’t make space for a shot or locate a teammate, but wins a corner. It’s worked short and Van Aanholt wins another. This time it’s straight into the box from Eze, but snicked away by a United head. The ball comes back in again and Benteke’s latest acrobatic volley attempt is deflected behind. A third flag kick, then, but Maguire clears.

4.18pm EST 16:18

47 min: Kouyate clears an early United corner, then Guaita catches a cross from the byline by – yes – Maguire.

4.17pm EST 16:17

Francis Mead (@francismead)

@NickAmes82 please don’t mention 5-0 Palace wins. I was there in 1970 when such was the score. Frank O’Farrell’s last match in charge – fairly deservedly at that point.

March 3, 2021

I’m fairly sure that topic won’t be coming up again tonight.

4.16pm EST 16:16

Peeeeep! We go again!

Milivojevic gets a ball in the face within moments of the restart …

4.15pm EST 16:15

Zebra chat from Chuck Burgess: “I wonder if the Brazilian usage of ‘zebra’ is related to the medical cliche ‘When you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras’. In other words, the most common diagnosis is also the most likely. If you happen upon a zebra in medicine, it’s quite an unlikely event.”

More Zebra chat from Adam Hirst: “The Botswana national team are known as The Zebras, possibly because of the stripes on the light blue flag. There have been some interesting attempts to incorporate the stripes into the colours of the kit. Quite like that third kit.”

Aardvark chat from Justin Kavanagh: “Going on Peter Oh’s Brazilian scale with its shocker Zebra extremity, this game has been a bit of an Aardvark of a stalemate so far.”

And goalie chat from Neil Carter: “Ole needs to shake things up after the break, looking forward to seeing Lee Grant get some minutes.”

4.12pm EST 16:12

A report from Blades 1-0 Villa:

Sheffield United hang on to beat Aston Villa despite Phil Jagielka’s VAR red

And a report from Burnley 1-1 Leicester:

Kelechi Iheanacho’s screamer for Leicester lights up draw at Burnley

4.00pm EST 16:00

Half-time: Crystal Palace 0-0 Manchester United

Not the best. United had that spell from around 12 to 25, Guaita saving from Matic and Rashford missing a chance. Otherwise, let’s hope this opens up a touch.

3.58pm EST 15:58

44 min: It’s one of those games where United just can’t get the tempo up in their passing, and Fernandes just hasn’t been involved much at all. Wan-Bissaka has woken up though and gets in another good position, raking in a fine cross that Ward clears from right in front of the poised Cavani.

3.56pm EST 15:56

42 min: Wan-Bissaka wins a corner against his old club with a welcome piece of initiative down the right. Milivojevic heads away spectacularly and eventually Palace clear the ball towards halfway.

3.55pm EST 15:55

40 min: Shaw wins the ball back well and puts in his first cross for a while, but Kouyate is positioned to head away.

3.53pm EST 15:53

39 min: This is definitely in the “lull” category. United had looked like producing some sustained quality for a spell earlier but the level has dropped right off. Palace remain disciplined.