Collingwood deserves respect as September perennials

Sep 27, 2023, 07:00 PM ET

Premierships are harder to win than they used to be. And perhaps the most emphatic acknowledgement of that comes in the disappearance from the Australian football lexicon of a much-loved taunt.

“Colliwobbles” was the go-to phrase used to describe Collingwood’s inability to win Grand Finals between 1958 and 1990, when it famously finally broke a 32-year flag drought, the Pies having by then played in eight previous Grand Finals (plus a replay) without a single victory.

Did that storied win over Essendon open the flood gates? Well, no. Indeed, since that October afternoon, Collingwood has played in another six Grand Finals (including another replay) for just one win. So how come no-one talks about the Colliwobbles anymore?

Two reasons. One, we’re a little more mature now about the difficulty of winning flags in a competition that has expanded by one-third and is tighter than ever.

But more significantly, even Collingwood’s most pathological “haters” can’t help but acknowledge the club’s amazing capacity to keep fronting up when it matters. They’re loud, they’ve at times been obnoxious, their troubles are always spectacular, but even in the modern AFL context, the Pies remain September perennials.

If you keep going to the well, the saying goes, eventually you’ll get to drink. And this sip for the Magpies would be particularly satisfying, a Grand Final win seeing them join arch-rivals Carlton and Essendon on 16 VFL/AFL premierships.

The measure on which the Pies are already way ahead of those other two traditional powerhouses, though, is simply consistency. In fact, that contrast is stark indeed.

The Blues and Bombers have both suffered through the darkest periods — and the longest premiership droughts — of their histories, 28 years now for Carlton, 23 for Essendon.

It’s not just flags, though. The whole football world laughs at the Bombers’ inability to win even a final, let alone Grand Final, since 2004. The Blues, meanwhile, have just played in their first finals series for 10 years, and in the post-2000 period have won the only five wooden spoons of their history.

Collingwood has played in another six grand finals (including another replay) for just one win since 1990. So how come no-one talks about the Colliwobbles anymore? Scott Barbour/Getty Images

Collingwood, meanwhile, has this year taken part in its 15th finals campaign since the turn of the millennium. Only Sydney (19) and Geelong (18) have been part of September more often than the Magpies in the 21st century. And their (now) six Grand Final appearances (not including a replay in 2010) is equaled only by the Cats and Swans.

There’s a distinct difference between that latter pair and the Pies, however, and it’s again testament to Collingwood’s capacity to keep bouncing back from adversity.

The Swans have enjoyed not only regular high finishes, but smooth sailing off the field as well, for a good 27 years now, ever since breaking through. Geelong cut its finals teeth before famously breaking a 44-year flag drought in 2007 and never looking back.

But it’s the dips in Collingwood’s formline over these couple of decades which are as significant, primarily for how quickly they’ve been corrected.

For example, the Magpies were coming off only their second wooden spoon at the end of 1999 when Mick Malthouse took over as coach. Less than three years later, they were pushing the strongest of Brisbane’s three premiership teams to within nine points on Grand Final day.

Within two seasons of their second Grand Final loss to the Lions, the Pies were nearly back on the bottom again, finishing 15th in a then 16-team competition. That netted them a priority pick and a couple of handy blokes called Scott Pendlebury and Dale Thomas.

Even so, their resurgence was stunning. They’d play finals for the next eight seasons, winning a premiership, playing in two Grand Finals (three including the replay) and finish top-four five times.

The four September-less years under Nathan Buckley from 2014-17 are the one low period of this couple of decades-plus for Collingwood.

Not surprisingly, given the club’s unique place in the sporting fabric as a constant source of cultural referencing, let alone on-going discussion and debate, not to mention the omnipresence of former president Eddie McGuire, they were troubles seldom allowed to be resolved with quiet contemplation.

Not surprisingly, given the club’s unique place in the sporting fabric as a constant source of cultural referencing, not to mention the omnipresence of former president Eddie McGuire, troubles were seldom allowed to be resolved with quiet contemplation. Mackenzie Sweetnam/Getty Images

But when Collingwood did emerge from its funk, it did so emphatically. The Pies led the 2018 Grand Final with just 100 seconds left in the match. They lost a preliminary final 12 months later by four points.

And now the process has been repeated again. Things came apart on and off the field in 2020 and 2021. The fall-out from the “Do Better” report into inherent racism at the club was far-reaching. It indirectly claimed McGuire. Buckley resigned mid-season two years ago. The board continued to squabble among themselves. Collingwood finished second-last again.

But how distant does all that seem now? Jeff Browne, to his credit, has been a unifying chairman of the club. Craig Kelly and his former premiership teammate Graham Wright have steered the ship shrewdly. And who would not already, regardless of Saturday’s result, agree that the choice of Craig McRae as coach was inspired.

The Collingwood Football Club of 2023 is in a great place. Its reputation has not only been restored, but as a contemporary, compassionate, inclusive entity, is stronger than ever. Michael Willson/AFL Photos via Getty Images

The Collingwood Football Club of 2023 is in a great place. Its reputation has not only been restored, but as a contemporary, compassionate, inclusive entity, is stronger than ever. And a win against Brisbane on Saturday would be just reward for two magnificent, entertaining seasons of football which have forced even those outside the tent into grudging admiration.

A 16th premiership would be every bit as significant as 1990 was for the Magpies. And Grand Final defeat? Well, of course that would be shattering. But given how this remarkable club continues to soldier on, at least you’d know the next attempt wouldn’t be too far away at all.