CM Punk declares himself the genuine article in a business of ‘Counterfeit Bucks’
CM Punk #CMPunk
© Matty Breisch 6-17-2023
After 10 months away from a ring, CM Punk finally made his return to AEW in the opening segment of the debut edition of AEW Collision, and needless to say, it was electrifying.
Walking down to the ring for the opening segment of the show as the blasting tones of “Cult of Personality” drowned out the commentary team of Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuinness, leading to “The Best in the World” taking the ring with a set of wrestling boots around his neck, a red gym bag in one hand and a microphone in the other. Declaring that he has “a lot to get off of his chest,” as the crowd reacted predictably to every word, “One Bill Phil” laid out on the table.
“I don’t know if you guys heard, but I’m tired of being nice. Gone ten months with a ruptured tricep tendon. Tore it right off the bone. And I’m still here. As long as I am, this is the professional wrestling business. It’s a business of grown-ups. This has never been a popularity contest – we all know I probably would’ve lost that one a long time ago. So tonight, we’re gonna have a little conversation about the future, but first, I would like to have a little conversation about my past, which I don’t think was checkered. If you would’ve told fifteen year old me that you’re gonna sell out the Budokan, that you’re gonna sell out Madison Square Garden, that you’re gonna sell out – multiple times over – every single building in Chicago with a roof, well I’m not sure little Punker would’ve believed you. That’s because he didn’t experience what present me standing here in front of all you crazy b*stards has experienced. I’m tired of being nice. Tell me when I’m telling lies,” Punk said.
“I did all these things, and I got here to this place, riding a wave, riding the backs of smart, passionate professional wrestling fans like you. And oh gosh, I never fit in somewhere more in my entire life than I have here in professional wrestling. I love you for it, I love you because you love me. And you love me because I have never compromised. I have been unapologetic my entire career. I am me, and I couldn’t have done all of this without all of you. And it seems there’s some people that hate me for the same reasons you all love me. And listen: I understand that the sheer magnitude of me makes people uncomfortable. I very much understand that my mere presence makes people uncomfortable, and that’s because I am the truth, and the truth is painful. This sign right here says ‘CM Punk is my hero.’ You can call me that. This sign here says ‘Pepsi Phil.’ You can call me that. This sign here says ‘CM Junk.’ You can call me that. Boo me, cheer me, love me, hate me, you all do it because you know I’m right. You can call me whatever you want. You know what David Zazlav calls me? ‘One-bill Phil.’ That’s because I am the one true genuine article in a business full of ‘Counterfeit Bucks.’”
Holy you-know-what, unsurprisingly, that “Counterfeit Buck” comment has already gone viral to an incredible degree, and fans of Punk and of The Elite have weighed in on the comments made by the near-universally hated Warner Brothers Discovery CEO. And the best part? Punk was only getting started, as he kept things going as the crowd went wild.
Bathed in the cheers of a crowd celebrating him like a returning hero, CM Punk continued on his rant, referencing everyone from Elvis and/or Bruce Cambell – take your pick – to the late leader of The Clash before reminding fans that he never technically lost his AEW World Title.
“The King is back, baby, and I do have a lot of things to get off my chest. I’ve got a question, Chicago, and then I’ll get out of your hair. Why would I change? This is what Joe Strummer trained me for: I will always speak truth to power. I will always be myself. I will never compromise. And there’s the people that think that they are owed an apology. I’ve grown older and wiser in my years, sometimes it’s better to be the bigger man. If you feel you’re here today and I owe you an apology, here it is: I am sorry that the only people softer than you are the wrestlers you like. Tell me when I’m telling lies,” Punk said.
“The last time you saw me with my tricep meat hanging down, I held what’s in this bag above my head. It is not because I deserve it. It’s mine because I earned it. And it’s not mine because I had ‘the best dog-collar match,’ it’s mine because I won the dog collar match. Tell me when I’m telling lies. This belongs to me until somebody can pin me or submit me for it. And there are those of you who I’m sure were praying to whatever god you believe in that I’m gonna put these down here in this ring and walk into the sunset, never to be seen again. Well until there is somebody in this company that can fill these boots, they belong on my feet. Tell me when I’m telling lies.”
Welp, there you go folks; Punk told fans that he had a lot to say on Dynamite in a pre-tape, and he did not lie about that one bit. Punk still views himself as the AEW Champion, will apparently defend the championship moving forward whether sanctioned by Tony Khan or not, and his intentions are to remain on top until someone else can take his spot on the card.
As the segment came to a close, Punk addressed the cameras once more, leaving fans with one lasting message that they can hang their hats on.
“I didn’t come here to be a star; I am a star.”
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