‘Bradley changed me’: Defoe opens up on life and love in new documentary

Jermain Defoe had held hands with hundreds of mascots as he walked countless small boys and girls down tunnels and out on to pitches before high profile matches. The England striker was invariably attentive and kind but, once kick-off arrived and the infant mascots raced towards their families waiting proudly on the touchline, that was pretty much that.

Everything changed in September 2016 when a frail six-year-old boy entered Sunderland’s dressing room at the Stadium of Light before a game against Everton and spotted his hero. “Bradley ran over to me and sat on my lap and we started talking about my boots,” says Defoe. “We had an instant connection. It’s hard to explain but it was different, it was magical.”

A firm friendship was born and endured until Bradley Lowery’s death from neuroblastoma, a rare childhood cancer, in July 2017. Defoe remains close to Bradley’s family and profoundly affected by a short, yet powerful, relationship that proves a central theme of Defoe: For the Love of the Game, the soon-to-be-released documentary charting the former England striker’s life on and off the pitch.

The film is to be screened in UK cinemas for one night only on 29 February and offers a compelling insight into much more than the 300-plus goals Defoe scored in a 23-year senior playing career embracing stints at West Ham, Bournemouth, Tottenham, Portsmouth, Toronto, Sunderland and Rangers.

Jermain Defoe and six-year-old Sunderland fan Bradley Lowery, who died of neuroblastoma in July 2017. Photograph: Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

Along the way Defoe variously turned vegan and teetotal, accrued 57 England caps, saw his love life splashed across tabloid front pages and suffered a series of family tragedies including the murder of his half-brother Jade after a brutal attack in Leytonstone and his father Jimmy’s death from cancer at the age of 47. Defoe was subsequently hit hard by the death of his 20-year-old cousin Hannah by electrocution after she jumped into a swimming pool on holiday in St Lucia.

Despite his metronomic goalscoring the striker struggled to accept those losses and it was only after meeting Bradley that he properly began to make peace with the past. “We had such a rare connection and I know meeting Bradley wasn’t an accident, it happened for a reason,” says Defoe, now 41 and the Tottenham Under‑18 coach. “I met his family and it was humbling. All I wanted was to keep seeing Bradley and keep putting a smile on his face.

“In football people want to get close to you and you have to put a guard up but, with Bradley, the love was genuine. I’d never experienced anything like the way he looked at me before. He changed me. Now I hope my film might inspire people from similar backgrounds, might show them that they can achieve their ambitions too.”

Yet if meeting Bradley marked a watershed in his life, Defoe had long wanted to trust people and be as accessible as possible. “I’ve always seen myself as different,” says a coach hoping to manage a club in the not too distant future. “I come from a very loving family, full of strong women. I’ve been surrounded by a lot of love and I’ve always wanted to be open, I’m happy to talk to anyone.”

Foremost among those strong women is his mother, Sandra. Her roots are in St Lucia and she brought up Defoe with emphasis on manners, hard work, respect and discipline. His desire to give something back led to the establishment of his decade-old charity foundation, which helps homeless and disadvantaged young people in the Caribbean and UK, and led to Defoe receiving an OBE in 2018.

Jermain Defoe, who has scored over 300 career goals, is the coach of Tottenham’s Under-18 team. Photograph: Joe Toth/Tottenham Hotspur FC/Shutterstock

Not that a man who found himself the victim of more than one kiss’n’tell sting has always been a paragon. “I was young, single and living the football dream,” he says. “Nothing can prepare you for the effect that has on you. No one’s perfect and I made mistakes. But it was horrible to see myself described as a ‘love rat’. I like to think I’m a good person so it’s not nice. I always started relationships in the hope they would go somewhere; it was never a case of just using girls. It was really hurtful when, if things didn’t work out, it got into the papers. It was like a form of revenge.”

Defoe is settled in a serious relationship and spends much of his free time studying for his coaching badges along with an MSc in sports directorship. “I love trying to get the best out of young players but I want to be a first-team manager,” says a man who remains in close contact with former mentors including his former Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp, Sunderland’s former head coach Gus Poyet and a former Bournemouth teammate turned Newcastle assistant manager, Jason Tindall.

The dearth of black coaches and managers in English football – not to mention senior club executives – concerns Defoe, who will most certainly not be let down by his stellar communication skills. “I am worried about it,” says Defoe. “It is depressing but I’m hopeful I’ll get an opportunity. Quite a few of the people I played with have been given chances as managers so I don’t see why it can’t happen for me too. You never know, I might be the first black England men’s manager.”

Defoe: For the Love of the Game will be screened in UK cinemas on 29 February