Brad Hazzard compared the vaccine rollout to the Hunger Games. Has he actually read it or has he lost the plot?

On Monday, the New South Wales health minister, Brad Hazzard, likened the Australian vaccine rollout to dystopian young adult fiction series the Hunger Games – begging the immediate question: has he actually read the Hunger Games? Does he realise, in this scenario, prime minister Scott Morrison would be tyrannical dictator President Snow?

“It is almost a sense now of the Hunger Games, of people chasing vaccine,” Hazzard told reporters in Sydney.

“Until we get enough vaccine and enough GPs actually at the front line able to provide that vaccine into arms, we will continue to have effectively the Hunger Games going on here in NSW.”

For those not acquainted with Suzanne Collins’ bestselling trilogy, it is set in a world in which the all-powerful Capitol (Canberra) rules 12 (eight) districts (states and territories) through a regime of fear and deprivation.

In order to quell thoughts of a rebellion, every year the Capitol’s leader, President Snow, orders a teenage boy and girl from each district to be chosen at random and placed in a vast, high-tech arena where the children must fight to the death. Every minute is televised to entertain the rich and intimidate the impoverished.

That is, until hunger-hardened, 17-year-old Katniss Everdeen from District 12 volunteers to take her sister’s place in the 74th games, fakes a love affair with her district partner, Peeta Mellark, and their acts of defiance, courage and kindness within the area unknowingly spark an uprising in the districts.

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Now, at first glance, this doesn’t appear to be the perfect metaphor for the vaccine rollout. Sure, the states all clamouring for Pfizer doses has a general “battle royale” energy to it, and everyone is talking about “war games” all of a sudden, but it doesn’t quite gel with the source material.

For argument’s sake, though, let’s take the health minister’s concept at face value and work out exactly who is who in this postapocalyptic rollout.

There is no denying that, in this scenario, Scott Morrison is Snow. He is the leader of our great nation of Panem (Australia), and you can’t deny that visiting the gravestone of his ancestors in the UK during a side trip from the G7 while stranded Australians can’t even get a flight home to say goodbye to their dying parents has a real privileged “Capitol” energy to it. Snow is also known for getting rid of his political adversaries, and Morrison did come to power after ousting Turnbull in the Liberal spill. Also, they have the same colour hair. It just works.

Who then, is Hazzard’s fearless leader Gladys Berejiklian? Again it’s obvious. She is District 13 rebel leader Alma Coin. (Yes, I know I said before there are only 12 districts, but the third book gets complicated.) She is competent, charismatic and pragmatic, but you get the sense that even though she talks a big game against President Snow, underneath it all they are made of the same material. Also District 13 has that familiar “better than all the rest” energy that Sydney has, so that fits too.

(For those who know the series, this means Hazzard is Plutarch Heavensbee, which parses because he does kind of look like Philip Seymour Hoffman.)

But who is the accidental rebel leader Katniss Everdeen? The answer is clearly Annastacia Palaszczuk. Especially this week. Think about it: she is defiant and outspoken, but also pretty abrasive and rubs lots of people the wrong way. She inspires admiration and hatred in equal parts, isn’t afraid to taunt Sco-Snow with her inflammatory words, and has become a figurehead for the anti-AstraZeneca rebellion.

People aren’t going to want to hear this next one, but you know in your heart it is true: in the vaccine rollout/Hunger Games world, Daniel Andrews is Gale Hawthorne – Katniss Everdeen’s hometown best friend and one corner of the trilogy’s love triangle.

Most of the time he is measured, compassionate and idyllic – wanting a better life for beleaguered District 12 (Victoria) but not afraid to make the hard decisions (lockdown).

But then things get serious and that idealism transforms into a brutal pragmatism – and very occasionally human rights violations such as bombing District 2 (or, you know, sending in armed police to place thousands of vulnerable low-income housing tower residents in a hard lockdown with no warning). Many don’t like his tactics, but they are effective. Also, unfortunately, both Liam Hemsworth and Andrews are now sex symbols.

The last person to cast is Peeta Mellark, the kind-hearted baker’s son, whose main motivation is to protect his love Katniss at all costs. No one is a perfect fit, but let’s go with Northern Territory chief minister Michael Gunner. While still impoverished, Peeta has lived a life of privilege compared with Gale (the Northern Territory was seemingly unaware Covid-19 even existed for the first 18 months of the pandemic). He isn’t that concerned about all this rebellion stuff (national cabinet) and just wants to bake bread (allow his residents to get “maggoted” on Territory Day). Let’s just hope that Peeta’s fate of being brainwashed and tortured by the Capitol doesn’t befall the chief minister.

Then again, the core conflict of the Hunger Games is the fight between the rich and the poor, the powerful and the powerless, the indulgent and the hungry. In that way, aren’t we all Katniss? Aren’t all the leaders President Snow, distracting us with their bread and circuses (political dogfights) while the economy suffers?

Or, further still, maybe the Australia vaccine rollout isn’t the Hunger Games at all. Maybe Australian journalist Laurence Barber has the right end of the stick and it’s actually The Divergent film series: “Bad and will probably never be completed.”