Boris skips conference, GB News rumours and James Cracknell’s ‘Boob or Bum’ deliberations

Relief for Sunak

Talking of Tory Party conference, it seems events have transpired to give Mr Sunak some small, and much needed, stress relief over the coming days.

While the PM will be haunted by PMs from Christmas Past at this year’s Manc shindig – namely Liz Truss and Theresa May – Sir Arbuthnot understands Boris will absolutely not be going, despite hopes from many expectant members.

As it is, the pro-Boris gathering will mainly focus on Monday night’s ‘Conservative Democratic Organisation’ Black Tie Ball, which will feature such luminaries as Priti Patel, Lord Cruddas and, yes, Nadine Dorries.

Perhaps if HS2 had already been completed it would have been a different story…

The ‘people’s channel’ is deepest red…

One of the biggest news stories for Westminster this week didn’t happen in the palatial setting of SW1 at all, but rather up the road in Paddington where the GB News fallout from that Laurence Fox interview sparked a domino effect that’s now taken out three presenters – namely Mr Fox, Dan Wootton and his Holiness Calvin Robinson.

Rumour from their broadcast HQ, however, is the toppling may not end there. Word reaches Sir Arbuthnot that none other than Neil Oliver – the broadcaster’s premier warrior against the impending World Economic Forum takeover of the west – may be next to go.

Yesterday one GB News source said: “If this incident gets rid of Laurence Fox and Calvin Robinson it will be the best thing to have happened to GBN all year.”

Later on yours truly was told this is now a full-on “battle between the cranks and the sensibles – and the sensibles are winning”.

The ‘Nasty Noughties’ and the Tories’ new rising star

The fallout from the Russell Brand saga has sparked a national debate about the newly rebranded ‘Nasty Noughties’. A decade full of sexually confident men saying outrageous things about sex and women – with no one batting an eye.

In that vein, it’s interesting to look at the Tories’ latest celebrity candidate, Olympic rower Mark Cracknell.

He’s already upset the apple cart over his comments about rejoining the EU, but a late-noughties interview gives a fascinating insight into the calibre of a potential future MP.

In 2009, the Mirror sat down for an interview with him, classily titled: “Five minutes with a sex god”.

Asked if he is a “legs or a boob man”, the prospective parliamentary candidate for Colchester gave a candid answer: “Boobs when I was growing up, but there are too many fake ones around now, so it’s changed everyone’s mental image of what boobs are. So I go for top of the legs and bum now. At least you know the bum’s going to be real.”

Asked if he abstained from sex before racing, he said he does and prior to the Olympics he hadn’t seen his wife for three months. “We made up for it afterwards, though even I couldn’t manage three months’ worth in one night!”

He’s not fussy either. Asked what he loves about women, he simply replied: “Probably that they’re not men.”

SpAds work around the rules

At the start of the month, Rishi’s right-hand man, and Chief of Staff, gave a candid lecture to his fellow special advisors.

He told them, quite simply, that anyone who doesn’t “believe we can win” should “resign now and get it over with”.

He even promised to help quitters find a new job if they are honest enough to voluntarily depart.

Word reaches Sir Arbuthnot that some SpAds have managed to find a workaround to this, and are simply pre-agreeing jobs outside of Westminster for 2024, when they believe they’ll inevitably be out of Government.