Billie Eilish Says She Felt ‘Trapped’ in Her Public Persona and Changed It to ‘F— with Everyone’
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When Billie Eilish graced the cover of British Vogue last year with a new blonde ‘do and a form-fitting glam outfit, it was a sudden departure from the signature look she’d developed as a pop star.
Now, the singer is admitting that the swerve was on purpose — and since it served said purpose, she’s more than happy to return to her roots.
Eilish, 20, told NME that around the time the Vogue cover was released in May 2021, she “had no idea who I was,” and was struggling to accept the fact that the world only knew her as someone who wore baggy clothes and dark hair, and recorded dark, synth-heavy songs.
“Before that, I was one kind of person and wore a certain type of clothes and made a certain type of music… and that haunted me, as people only thought of me in one dimension and I didn’t like that,” she said. “I felt pretty trapped in the persona that people had of me, and then I changed it completely to f— with everyone.”
The “Happier Than Ever” singer said her goal was to establish “range and to feel desirable, and to feel feminine and masculine.” While she’s since ditched the new look for her current world tour, Eilish said she’s happy in her own skin.
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Billie Eilish performs on stage at Telekom Electronic Beats at Telekom Forum on June 01, 2022 in Bonn, Germany
Andreas Rentz/Getty Billie Eilish
“I wanted to prove that to myself, too,” she said. “Now I finally feel comfortable in the person I actually am and being all of those things at once.”
The seven-time Grammy winner, who recently headlined England’s Glastonbury Festival, said that although she feels comfortable with herself, she feels as though she’s in a “real transitional period” in her personal life, and is looking to change the fact that she’s been “a little complacent” and “accepting of things that weren’t very fulfilling” in the past.
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“I’m trying to find myself again. I don’t want to live the way that I lived last year; I want to live differently,” she said. “I want to trust my gut more and listen to myself more.”
Eilish split from boyfriend Matthew Tyler Vorce in May. While she did not address the split with NME, she did hint that she’s single and ready to mingle, as she said her goal for Glastonbury was to meet “new people and cute British boys.”
The star kicked off her Happier Than Ever world tour earlier this year, and it’s set to continue through September with stops in Europe, Asia, New Zealand and Australia.