ANDREW PIERCE: Team tips from Alastair Campbell? It’s a Blair-faced cheek

Never one to miss a photo-opportunity, Tony Blair would always bask in the reflected glory of the England football team during his time as PM — although such glory tended to be in short supply. 

David Beckham was a regular visitor to Downing Street, while the 2002 World Cup squad — accompanied by the first foreign manager of the side, Swede Sven- Göran Eriksson — were invited across the threshold of No 10 in good time for the TV bulletins.

The seeds were sown some years before Blair became PM, with that memorable ball-heading session with former England captain Kevin Keegan during a 1995 Labour conference in Brighton.

More recently, Campbell has liked to boast that he regularly texts team tips to Gareth Southgate, the England manager

Tony Blair would always bask in the reflected glory of the England football team during his time as PM

These PR stunts were devised by Burnley FC fanatic Alastair Campbell, then Blair’s thuggish and all-powerful communications chief.

More recently, Campbell has liked to boast that he regularly texts team tips to Gareth Southgate, the England manager.

Given that Campbell has never backed an England team — as the son of a Scottish vet, his loyalty has stayed with the land of his father — and admits that all his life he’s supported ‘everybody but England’, isn’t it time Southgate changed his phone number?

Jacob the Member for hip-hop 

It’s no wonder that his colleagues in the Chamber were rather taken aback when he broke into some lyrics from a rap

Often referred to as the ‘Honourable Member for the 18th Century’, Commons Leader Jacob Rees-Mogg would be the first to admit he’s more at home with Ancient Greece than he is with rap music.

So it’s no wonder that his colleagues in the Chamber were rather taken aback when he broke into some lyrics from a rap, by former Liverpool footballer John Barnes, from New Order’s 1990 World Cup anthem, World In Motion. Rees-Mogg said: ‘I think the line to take, Mr Speaker, is from Mr Barnes: “You’ve got to hold and give but do it at the right time/You can be slow or fast but you must get to the line”.’

He added: ‘Can I reassure you Mr Speaker: “We ain’t no hooligans/This ain’t a football song/Three Lions on my chest/I know we can’t go wrong”.’

Hmmm. Perhaps best to stick to Homer, Jacob.

One of the best attended Commons debates last week was on the threat to the British hedgehog, with numbers down from 30 million in 1950 to 1.5 million. Robert Halfon, the chairman of the Commons Education Select Committee, whose family has adopted a hedgehog called Horace, wasn’t surprised: ‘I may spend months writing a speech on education, and a few people might notice — but when it comes to Horace, literally thousands of people have written to me.’ 

Panto season has arrived early and Matt Hancock is in the cross-hairs. Welcoming audiences to his new musical Cinderella last week, Andrew Lloyd Webber joked: ‘I will just say, we can take the [former] Health Secretary’s advice, and have no kissing in corridors.’ 

Taxing time for a lady

In the latest peers’ Register of Interests, Lady Warsi declares a property in North London from which she earns rental income, the directorship of a property company, a business consultancy, shareholdings in a condiments company and a mobile app platform, and a clutch of fees from media appearances

Former Coservative chairwoman Baroness Warsi told Channel 4 that she watched the football on her iPad. ‘I don’t actually have a telly. Times are tough, you know. It’s hard growing up as a working-class girl, even if you end up in the House of Lords. Can’t afford a telly.’

Really? In the latest peers’ Register of Interests, Lady Warsi declares a property in North London from which she earns rental income, the directorship of a property company, a business consultancy, shareholdings in a condiments company and a mobile app platform, and a clutch of fees from media appearances.

Their Lordships don’t have to disclose the amounts of money involved. In the last two months for which Lords expenses were published, and while the Lords has been holding virtual sittings, the peeress claimed £3,402. Tax free.

Doth she protest too much?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Petronella Wyatt, a former lover of Boris Johnson, blames his new wife Carrie for the PM now ‘trying to be all things to all men, women and transgender folk’.

In The Spectator magazine this week, Wyatt writes: ‘To continue with his Prince Harryfication, under the showgirl-red manicured thumbs of the First Wife could prove… perilous as the asp at Cleopatra’s breast.’

Don’t hold back now, Petronella!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Petronella Wyatt, right, a former lover of Boris Johnson