All the Worst Men Are Rushing to Defend Russell Brand

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that if Andrew Tate is rushing to your defense—like Tate is currently doing on behalf of Russell Brand, the UK comedian newly accused of multiple counts of sexual assault and rape—you’re probably not worth defending in the first place.

Tate, an openly misogynistic influencer who himself has been accused of sexual coercion and committing acts of sexual violence, posted a meme on X over the weekend of a medieval knight with the caption, “On my way to fight the crazy bitch allegations.”

“Welcome to the club @rustyrockets,” Tate added, tagging Brand’s X account.

X and Tesla CEO Elon Musk, who was himself accused of exposing himself to a SpaceX flight attendant and propositioning her for sex, replied to a video that Brand posted on X in which the comedian insisted that he was being unfairly attacked by the media.

“Of course,” Musk wrote. “They don’t like competition.”

Tucker Carlson had a similar take, writing, “Criticize the drug companies, question the war in Ukraine, and you can be pretty sure this is going to happen,” in response to the accusations against Brand, which makes no sense given that plenty of prominent public figures in the news have spoken out against drug companies and the war in Ukraine without being accused of raping people.

While once best known as an outré comedian who made his living via MTV shows and guest appearances in Hollywood romcoms, in recent years, Brand has rebranded himself as something of an online wellness guru with strong multi-level marketing scheme vibes and a popular YouTube channel.

After Brand’s videos were de-monetized by the platform out of concern for user safety, right-wing troll Matt Walsh tweeted, “This is insane. YouTube is demonetizing all of Brand’s accounts based on unproven allegations made in the media. He hasn’t even been criminally charged with anything. The precedent being set here is extremely bad.” On the Daily Wire, he had previously stated, “The moment somebody becomes a threat to the establishment, the accusations of sexual assault materialize from thin air. It is impossible not to notice this trend.”

Brand’s decidedly un-merry band of loyal defenders mostly seem to be brash, online personalities with unsavory track records with women. Quite the winner’s circle.

Consider conservative hack Ben Shapiro, who once expressed concern that having a “wet-ass pussy” (like the ones described in the Cardi B song) was “a serious gynecological condition” and said on an episode of his show this week that he thinks Brand “today is a good person.”

“Russell has denied all of the allegations,” Shapiro said. “And again, in every situation when you’re talking about, like, a 10 year, 15, 20-year ago situation, it is what he said, she said. There’s just no way to verify one way or the other whether somebody is telling the truth or whether they are not, absent some sort of DNA evidence.”

It was conservative conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, though, who perhaps had the slimiest and most invalidating take. “I’ve never seen women throw themselves at anyone like with him,” Jones said in a video posted Sunday from an airport terminal. “No one ever accused him, for the last 15 years, of assault because they say he’s such a big sweetheart.”

Where’s TSA when you need them?