Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid, Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United, and more: clockwatch – as it happened

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That’s all from me – it’s been good fun. The game never stops though; Tim de Lisle is watching Wolves take on Newcastle.

Match report: Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid

I like watching Jude Bellingham; I love reading Sid Lowe on Jude Bellingham. Here’s his report on the latest masterclass.

Match report: Hibernian 0-0 Celtic

A goalless draw as Celtic remain unbeaten in the league.

Bellingham leads the La Liga top-scorer charts with 10 from 10. I’ve been informed that Zidane, whose shirt he now wears, never scored more than nine league goals in a season for Real.

Updated at 12.39 EDT

Match report: Bournemouth 2-1 Burnley

Finally, Bournemouth can smile.

Match report: Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United

Ben Bloom has the write-up from the Emirates, where Eddie Nketiah had a day out.

Here’s all the latest from the Bundesliga. Harry Kane’s having loads of fun out there.

FULL TIME: Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid

Sing it with me!

GOAL! Barcelona 1-2 Real Madrid (Bellingham 90+2)

Oh my days. Carvajal crosses into the box, Modric gets a touch that inadvertently finds Bellingham, who is left one-on-one with the keeper. The rest is inevitable.

Jude Bellingham gets his second! Photograph: Albert Gea/Reuters

Updated at 12.24 EDT

Barcelona 1-1 Real Madrid: We’re into injury time, with four minutes added on.

Updated at 12.12 EDT

FULL TIME: Hibernian 0-0 Celtic

I’ll be real with you: I totally forgot this was happening.

FULL TIME: Bournemouth 2-1 Burnley

A big result this one – Bournemouth have bagged three points for the first time this season. And they’ve left the bottom three, too.

FULL TIME: Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United

It’s all over at the Emirates. Sheffield United stay bottom while Arsenal move up to second with the most comfortable of wins.

FULL TIME: QPR 1-2 Leicester

Harry Winks’ goal is the winner. It was a cracking strike as well, with Winks curling into the top right corner from outside the box to continue Leicester’s terrific run in the Championship.

Updated at 11.59 EDT

GOAL! Arsenal 5-0 Sheffield United (Tomiyasu 90+6)

Tomiyasu scores his first Arsenal goal and Sheffield United’s day gets worse. A corner comes in, the ball bounces around before Tomiyasu pokes in from just outside the six-yard box.

Tomiyasu celebrates as the Gunners put the Blades to the sword. Photograph: Tony Obrien/Reuters

Updated at 12.17 EDT

There’s some VAR madness happening at Bournemouth-Burnley, with a goal from Jay Rodriguez being deliberated. It’s messing with poor Clinton Morrison’s head in the Soccer Saturday studio. It’s eventually ruled offside.

Updated at 11.53 EDT

GOAL! Arsenal 4-0 Sheffield United (Vieira 88)

It’s a penalty for Arsenal, but it’s not Nketiah stepping up for a fourth – Vieira slots in.

Oliver Norwood fouls Fabio Vieira and concedes the penalty. Photograph: Kirsty Wigglesworth/AP

Updated at 11.56 EDT

GOAL! Barcelona 1-1 Real Madrid (Bellingham 68)

Yeah, he’s something else. Bellingham picks the ball up, around 30 yards away, and just smashes it past the keeper. Staggering goal, staggering footballer.

Jude Bellingham winds up a shot and equalises for real Madrid! Photograph: Albert Gea/Reuters

Updated at 11.48 EDT

GOAL! QPR 1-2 Leicester (Winks 80)

QPR, down to 10 men after Dozzell was sent off near the hour mark, concede. Harry Winks gives Leicester the lead.

GOAL! Bournemouth 2-1 Burnley (Billing 76)

It’s not just Harry Kane who’s having success with the long-range chip! Billing does it for Bournemouth – this one’s inside the opposition half, probably from around 40 yards, and the backpedaling keeper gets a hand on it, but not enough.

Philip Billing channels his inner Michael Jackson. Photograph: Charlie Crowhurst/Getty Images

Updated at 11.41 EDT

“I’ve said this so many times on the MBMs I think I may need to offer my services to the Football League’s colour-blind advisory board,” writes Andy Tuohy. “The kit colours? Unless I’m not mistaken, Sheffield United have a yellow away strip. Why in god’s name are they wearing a kit that is so tonally close to Arsenal’s. As has been said in this thread before. Moving at speed it’s not so easy to differentiate.”

“Barcelona were much better than Real Madrid in the first half, through last ditch defending Los Blancos have let in just one goal,” writes Kári Tulinius. “If Barcelona was facing any other team, I’d be confident they’d run away with the match in the second half, but this isn’t any other team, and everyone’s seen Real Madrid do like Jackie Chan at the end of a beating and win in ludicrous fashion.”

FULL TIME: Bayern 8-0 Darmstadt

Bayern made their one-man advantage count: they had 10 players, Darmstadt nine. Harry Kane’s clearly been watching the Becks doco, the cherry of his hat-trick a strike from behind the halfway line.

Harry Kane seems to be fitting in well. Photograph: Sebastian Widmann/Getty Images

Updated at 11.38 EDT

Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid: The action has resumed in the clásico. Just seen Ferran Torres’ yellow – he basically rugby tackled Vinicius Jr.

HAT-TRICK! Bayern 8-0 Darmstadt (Kane 88)

Kane’s day gets even better, this his 12th goal in the Bundesliga. It’s Sané who slots him in, and the former Tottenham man is relentless.

Updated at 11.23 EDT

HAT-TRICK! Arsenal 3-0 Sheffield United (Nketiah 58)

Eddie Nketiah gets to keep the match ball. And it’s an absolute stunner – he picks up the ball outside the box and just thumps it into the top left corner.

Eddie Nketiah rifles home his hat-trick goal. Photograph: Tony Obrien/ReutersOne to keep, Eddie! Photograph: Alex Pantling/Getty Images

Updated at 11.22 EDT

GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Sheffield United (Nketiah 51)

Eddie Nketiah has his second of the afternoon. Wes Foderingham can’t hold onto the ball from the corner, parrying it away, and the Arsenal forward is quickest in the six-yard box, smashing high into the net with his right foot.

Eddie Nketiah bags a brace! Photograph: Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty Images

Updated at 11.16 EDT

GOALS! Bayern 7-0 Darmstadt (Muller 71, Musiala 76)

More of the same at the Allianz, with Musiala bagging a brace before getting subbed for Choupo-Moting.

HALF-TIME: Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid

Just the one goal from the star midfielder playing his first clásico… yeah, not that one. Gundogan’s tidy finish means it’s Barca who lead at the break.

GOAL! Bayern 5-0 Darmstadt (Kane 69)

Harry Kane’s done a Beckham! He launches the ball from behind the halfway line, seeing the keeper off the line, and the ball sails in!

Harry Kane lets rip from his own half and scores!! Photograph: Tom Weller/AP

Updated at 11.26 EDT

GOAL! Bayern 4-0 Darmstadt (Sané 64)

Leroy Sané has his second, and there’s still plenty more time for a demolition.

Half-times (elsewhere)

Premier League half-timesGOALS! Bayern 3-0 (Sané 56 and Musiala 60)

They’re queuing up now at the Allianz.

Updated at 10.56 EDT

Barcelona 1-0 Real Madrid: Barcelona nearly doubled their lead in the 16th minute, with Fermin Lopez striking the post. The hosts have had most of the ball, with Madrid yet to test the keeper.

Updated at 10.49 EDT

Here’s some Champo reading for you.

GOAL! Bayern 1-0 Darmstadt (Kane 51)

Harry Kane’s Munich honeymoon continues. He gives Bayern the lead against nine men with a diving header.

Harry Kane on the mark again for Bayern Munich. Photograph: Sebastian Widmann/Getty Images

Updated at 10.48 EDT

GOAL! QPR 1-1 Leicester (Dozzell 40)

QPR are back in it! The ball breaks for Dozzell on the edge of the box after a bit of pinball inside, and he puts his left foot through it to level the game.

Updated at 11.13 EDT