Fulham v Everton: Premier League – live!

8.24am EST 08:24

65 min “When does Parker’s jaw detach from his machine gun style gum chewing?” wonders Mary Waltz.

The way he does it is so good, honest and old-fashioned. On which point, people suddenly thinking he’d become David Batty marked one of English football’s most peculiar times.

Updated at 8.25am EST

8.23am EST 08:23

64 min A stray arm from Loftus-Cheek catches Allan, but a quick check reveals nothing untoward.

8.22am EST 08:22

63 min I’m not a huge fan of this rendition of Everton’s away kit, but it does remind me of the 86-87 classic.

Photograph: Daniel Leal-Olivas/AFP/Getty Images Photograph: Colorsport/REX/Shutterstock

Updated at 8.22am EST

8.21am EST 08:21

62 min Nice from Robinson, bursting past Doucoure, but just as he looks set to cross, he takes a heavy touch that ruins things.

8.20am EST 08:20

61 min Loftus-Cheek is on the right for now while, in the middle, Mitrovic holds up and lays off for Cavaleiro, who drags a tame shot straight at Pickford.

8.19am EST 08:19

60 min I hate to say it, but 3-1 at this point is good for Fulham, because things haven’t got worse and because a goal any time from now changes everything.

8.17am EST 08:17

59 min I was surprised by how good people thought Loftus-Cheek could be, but I’m also surprised he’s not one of the key players in this Fulham team.

8.16am EST 08:16

58 min A double change for Fulham, Loftus-Cheek and Mitrovic replacing Cairney and Decordova-Reid.

8.16am EST 08:16

57 min Lookman’s doing well on the right and he finds Cairney, who immediately drills a shot into the nearest shins.

8.15am EST 08:15

56 min In co-commentary, Martin Keown discusses how well Iwobi has played today, and that Ancelotti seems to be helping him do the right things at the right time. I’d like to see him play well against better opposition, but his ball-carrying capacity is a huge plus for this team.

8.14am EST 08:14

56 min These last couple of minutes have been better for Fulham, but then Robinson scythes through Iwobi and is booked.

8.13am EST 08:13

55 min Nice from Lookman, foraging down the right and crossing low, but there’s Allan getting in the road as Lemina scavenges for a shot.

8.12am EST 08:12

53 min Pickford humps clear and the second ball drops to Calvert-Lewin, 35 yards out. It “sits up lovely”, so he cracks a shot that’s straight at Areola.

8.11am EST 08:11

52 min Allan was a terrific signing by Everton, the kind of player who sets a tone for the rest and who must be an absolute evilness to play against.

Allan vies for the ball with Cairney Photograph: Daniel Leal Olivas/AP

Updated at 8.13am EST

8.09am EST 08:09

51 min Everton look really confident now, evidenced by how well Godfrey charges out of defence. He’s foiled eventually, but his team know they’ve got this.

8.08am EST 08:08

49 min Lookman is now on the right, presumably to try and pin Digne back. Good luck with that, old mate.

8.05am EST 08:05

47 min Everton win a free-kick down the left and Digne’s delivery is again impeccable while Fulham’s marking is unimpeccable, and Richarlison turns just around the near post.

8.04am EST 08:04

46 min On which point, I’m increasingly of the opinion that this is the greatest tune about London.

8.03am EST 08:03

Back come the teams, to the Clash. No points for imagination, but what a tune.

7.49am EST 07:49

Half-time: Fulham 1-3 Everton

That was a really entertaining half, but Fulham are so dreadful they could stand for high office.

7.48am EST 07:48

45+2 min More possession from Everton, even Michael Keane getting involved, before Richarlison fashions space and Areola has to beat away his shot. The defending in front of him is spectacularly miserable.

7.45am EST 07:45

45 min I wish I could look at Fulham’s bench and see a way for them to change this, but I cannot.

7.44am EST 07:44

43 min Is James limping? He seems to be, but looks alright in finding Doucoure, so probably nothing to worry about – unless you’re a Fulham fan.

7.43am EST 07:43

42 min Goodness me, first Richarlison can’t quite get a sliding volley on James’ prompt, then Digne drives over another low cross and Andersen misses it … but so does Richarlison. This could get exceedingly messy.

7.41am EST 07:41

40 min Elsewhere, Rangers lead Aberdeen 2-0; given Celtic’s draw yesterday, 10 in a row looks a very long way away.

Updated at 7.44am EST

7.40am EST 07:40

39 min If Fulham’s defending has improved lately, how much fun was it previously? The back four seem to think marking is for other people.

7.39am EST 07:39

GOAL! Fulham 1-3 Everton (Docoure 35)

Dearie Fulham. Someone, James I think, spreads wide to Digne whose first touch is a beauty. It doesn’t look much, but it kills the pass and transfers it perfectly into stride, ready for an equally simple yet

Doucoure rises to head in Fulham’s third goal Photograph: Daniel Leal-Olivas/Reuters

7.39am EST 07:39

37 min “Lucas Digne has his admirers,” tweets Gary Naylor, “but he’s still the most underrated player in the Premier League.”

Similarly, Belgium are my dark horses for the European Championships. But yeah, joking aside, his delivery from the left is very, very good.

7.35am EST 07:35

32 min On VAR – sorry – are we ready to conclude that none of us fell in love with football because of the effectiveness of its decision-making process, and getting the calls right, or at least improving them by a a few percentage points, doesn’t really matter? Last night’s Man United-West Brom game for example: you can make a convincing argument that all the right things happened in the end – just as you can that they didn’t – but who enjoyed things more as a consequence. Ultimately, what football needs to grasp is that the 90-minute aspect of it is only … football.

7.33am EST 07:33

GOAL! Fulham 1-2 Everton (Calvert-Lewin 29)

Iwobi mooches inside, leaving three or four defenders hypnotised with the rhythmic softness of his feet, spreads to James, who goes immediately out to Digne, and he serves a perfect first-time caress that Calvert-Lewin punches home with minimum effort and maximum prejudice.

Calvert-Lewin scores his second goal Photograph: John Sibley/Reuters

Updated at 8.09am EST

7.32am EST 07:32

30 min VAR is looking at that goal for a potential offside, but concludes that it’s better not to be a baby.

7.32am EST 07:32

30 min Decordova-Reid is booked for challenge on Richarlison that he made before the goal.

7.29am EST 07:29

29 min “Those who are saying Fulham are bad clearly didn’t see them two seasons ago!” returns Richard Hirst.

Can’t argue with that.

7.28am EST 07:28

27 min “I’m fairly sure in one of my Shoot! magazines from the time,” tweets Stew Todd, “Jimmy Greaves recommended that Liverpool send Aldridge to Juventus and keep Rush as they wouldn’t spot the difference between the two. Simpler times.”

Well Jim should know.

Photograph: PA

7.27am EST 07:27

25 min Iwobi crosses and Adarabioyo’s is the first head to meet it, sending the ball towards his own goal. But it’s an easy take for Areola, who livens up proceedings by dropping it … but over the bar. Naturally, he then makes like this was his plan all along, fooling the entirety of the Craven Cottage crowd.

7.25am EST 07:25

24 min “In fact, they’re so bad,” returns Stephen Carr, “that Sam Allardyce is looking into the cost of a pint of wine in the Fulham area.”

I’m fairly sure that round that way, wine is only served in carafes.

7.24am EST 07:24

22 min This is a really enjoyable game. Neither side has the first clue about defending.

7.24am EST 07:24

20 min Brilliant from Richarlison, who wins back possession chasing towards his own centre-circle, takes the ball back from Allan, and daintily charges past three challenges before diddling Adarabioyo with a lovely change of direction. He looks certain to score, opening his body to pass clinically into the bottom corner, completing a magical goal before knee-sliding into oblivion, only for Areola to make a very smart save down to his left.

Updated at 8.08am EST

7.22am EST 07:22

20 min Fulham are playing much better now – I said Everton probably wouldn’t play three at the back but I think they are, and Iwobi is as much a wing-back as Godfrey is a full-back, so though the goal from the right, the majority of their activity is coming down the left.

7.20am EST 07:20

18 min While I was looking for Bob references, Calvert-Lewin gets the ball into the net, this time via expert’s clipped finish after good work from Iwobi, but went too early and was offside.

Updated at 7.20am EST

7.19am EST 07:19

17 min “To resume our relationship from the cricket season,” says Richard Hirst before the euqaliser “and bringing my two passions together – it takes a lot to laugh, it takes a Fulham supporter to cry.”

You were so much older then, you’re younger than that now.