November 24, 2024

Dear Annie: Husband pressures wife to get higher-paying job, but is it better?

Annie #Annie

Dear Annie: This is about “Unsure,” who loved her job at a school but whose husband was pressuring her to find a higher-paying job so she could contribute toward college for their teenage children.

I am writing this from the perspective of a retired public employee who is very glad to have my defined benefits pension.

It is very important to look at the total compensation package, not just the take-home pay. (Note: I am assuming that “Unsure” works at a public school.)

In addition to her take-home, does the letter writer’s employment provide:

1. Benefits that cover the whole family now, such as medical, dental, vision? What would it cost out-of-pocket for comparable coverage if these benefits are not available in the new job?

2. Does the school job provide a secure pension plan? It’s amazing how much money has to be set aside to provide even a modest retirement income.

3. Also, does her current job post retirement medical (medigap), dental, vision? These needs don’t go away. To the contrary, they increase as we age and have to be paid for somehow.

4. How much money have they saved on day care, summer programs, etc., over the years because her schedule matched their kids’ schedules? It is probably considerable.

If “Unsure’s” current job currently provides any or all of these benefits, how much more would a new, private sector job have to pay to provide comparable compensation? — Considering the Benefits

Dear Considering: I agree that it’s important to consider the total compensation package when evaluating one’s career. A number of readers also noted that “Unsure” could look for a summer job if money is still tight. An overwhelming number of you applauded “Unsure” for the passion she showed for her work, which is indeed something to be cherished.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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