Brit awards 2023: Lizzo in the pink as Harry Styles and Wet Leg take top awards – follow it live

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And that’s it from us!

Thank you very much for watching along with us on what is, to be quite honest, British music’s most mediocre night. Kudos to Aitch for kicking proceedings off with a light helping of beef, and to Harry Styles to deigning to respond, just about; to Wet Leg and Lizzo for unusually thrilling performances.

Zero kudos to Tom Grennan or the miserably bad host, nor the final performance, which I will not forget because I think the sharp tones of Becky Hill, Ella Henderson, Sam Ryder and David Guetta’s brassy bosh have stirred my dormant tinnitus. Goodnight!

This was the first Brits I’ve ever seen, and I must say, I wish there had been a few more watercooler moments. That being said, it absolutely turned my opinion on certain artists (Wet Leg, Lizzo) around, and made me feel a lot chillier on others (Stormzy, Harry). All in all – I hope I never have to watch any awards ceremony again. To borrow a phrase from Harry Styles: people like me don’t usually have to live blog things like this!

Updated at 18.02 EST

David Guetta, Becky Hill, Ella Henderson and Sam Ryder’s performance reviewedDavid Guetta performs at the Brits. Photograph: David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock

Finally, some ridiculous spectacle! David Guetta’s performance with Becky Hill, Ella Henderson and Sam Ryder is a perfect way to end this show – the rest of the night has been a bit of a snoozefest, and seeing a bunch of dancers dressed in ridiculous red latex outfits is extraordinarily stupid (in a good way). I will say, Sam Ryder leaves something to be desired – his belting is more like screaming, an extraordinarily upsetting thing to hear on a public television broadcast – but thank God we got a bit of old-school glamour, at least. I never thought I’d say it, but – did David Guetta save the Brits? I think he just might have.

Updated at 17.59 EST

What an utter racket. I love the notion that Blue (Da Ba Dee) was a “lifechanging record” for David Guetta.

Album of the year: Harry Styles – Harry’s House

As presented by Stanley Tucci! They share a tender embrace.

Styles laughs in disbelief. “There’s literally no one I love more in the world than Stanley Tucci so this means so much. Thank you very much! This night has been really special to me and I will never forget it. Thank you so much for the welcome home, I appreciate it so much, there is no place like home. I’m so proud to be a British artist out there in the world … so proud to be here tonight celebrating British music.”

Styles and Tucci share a moment. Photograph: David Fisher/Rex/Shutterstock

And it’s four for four. Things like this very much continue to happen for Harry Styles, who now has the Grammy and the Brit award for album of the year under his belt (or maybe that inconvenient goth corsage he had on earlier). Harry’s House has moved 370,000 “units” (combined streams and sales) in the UK and been certified platinum, and was officially the UK’s biggest album of 2022, so once again, fair enough on Brits terms. It’s easy to dunk on Styles – he gets away with murder just for wearing nail varnish sometimes and his eminently pleasant easy-listening music attracts some disproportionate analysis – but Harry’s House has some lovely highlights (Matilda, Keep Driving) and this week I went to a yoga class where the teacher played the album in full in honour of his Grammys win, and it proved an ample soundtrack to some gentle rounds of sun salutation A. What more can you ask for? (A lot, probably, but after more than three hours of liveblogging I’ll take going to bed.)

Updated at 17.54 EST

Sam Smith and Kim Petras’s performance reviewedSam Smith performs at the Brits. Photograph: David Fisher/Rex/Shutterstock

I’m not sure if it’s Stockholm syndrome, but I’m kind of coming around to Unholy, Sam Smith and Kim Petras’s inescapable, moderately subversive pop hit. That being said, this performance feels, at best, totally bizarre – why is there a car on stage? Why is Smith wearing a top hat with devil horns? I know that Smith and Petras are trying to bring a little bit of radical frisson to the mainstream, but there’s still something deeply needy about this performance, almost as if it was the result of a focus group asking, “What are the most quote-unquote edgy things we could bring to the Brits?” This feels like the first real miss of the night – one of the few performances of the evening where everything just feels like a mess. Smith and Petras are both great live singers; the maximalist aesthetic may have just drowned them out.

Updated at 17.45 EST

Clearly the technical difficulties are persisting, as this “banter” between the hosts is the awards show equivalent of the telephone ringing in Crossroads and the cast having to fill airtime.

Liz Truss is in the building

A PR friend posts on Instagram that short-lived prime minister and noted M People fan Liz Truss is in the box next to them.

Updated at 17.41 EST

Something’s gone wrong so we’re getting a playback of the I Drink Wine singer Adele singing I Drink Wine from last year.

AG Cook on why Charli XCX is his artist of the year

Charli XCX and producer AG Cook have had an extraordinarily fruitful creative partnership over the past few years, and their work together on Charli’s 2022 album Crash was proof that they’re making some of the best pop music in the world right now. Here’s AG on why Charli is his artist of the year:

Charli’s music is brash and complex, flippant and emotional, cult and mainstream – all the paradoxes of a true pop musician. Her live performances and songwriting marathons have an almost superhuman energy, but she’s avoided any one-dimensional persona and used every release to invite people into her world. I’ve been lucky to work alongside Charli on many projects over the years, but I’m still in awe of how clearly her personality expresses itself through music. Her life effortlessly becomes her art, and lends a human touch to artificial sounds and unlikely anthems. She’s not afraid to be messy, to both say it how it is and then sometimes hide behind smart, playful lyrics. Having forged her own lane, there’s the feeling that she’s only just getting started, with a past, present and future too unique to ignore.

Updated at 17.36 EST

Producer of the year: David Guetta

This award has always gone to a British producer. Except this year, when they … ran out of ideas? Couldn’t give it to Paul Epworth again? Already gave it to Fred Again? Who knows. Anyway, it’s French donkmeister David Guetta who had a big hit with Bebe Rexha last year that I couldn’t sing you a note of.

Oh no, wait, it’s that interpolation of Eiffel 65’s Blue that any sensible person has gone out of their way to avoid. Argh!

David Guetta accepting the producer of the year award. Photograph: David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock

Award presenter Fatboy Slim says he has watched Guetta grow up to become “the beast he is today”. Guetta repays the compliment: “I’m so honoured and happy that you’re giving me this, you inspired [me] so much!”

Guetta might rival Sam Ryder for irrepressible, hard-to-hate positivity. “This is a vibe really, I love this party and thank you for this! I’ve been making records for now 22 years. I remember my first No 1, it was such a blessing, but to have another No 1 and to have longevity is such a miracle in what we do. I’m here with my son Elvis, happy birthday, I love you. Thank you everyone, party tonight!”

Thank you, David, I will! Might get crazy with another yoghurt!

Updated at 17.35 EST

Cat Burns’s performance reviewedCat Burns performs at the Brits. Photograph: David Fisher/Rex/Shutterstock

Pop upstart Cat Burns is here performing her song Go. It’s a wonderful, earthy performance – she looks truly incredible in a brilliantly chic cream suit – and her vocals are pitch perfect: she’s relishing every ad-lib and flourish. Admittedly, at this point in the show all these minimalist performances are getting a little boring – like, where’s all the razzle-dazzle? – but it’s still a lovely showcase of someone who will probably be gracing the Brits stage a lot in the near future, and her impeccably dressed all-female backing band is a lovely touch.

Updated at 17.25 EST

Another controversy brewing?

Unless Stormzy wins album of the year, the last yet-to-be-revealed prize, we’re looking pretty close to another #BritsSoWhite situation, as in 2016: Beyoncé and Flo are the only artists of colour to take home a prize, and even the rap category was won by the only white artist among the five nominees.

Wow, Billie Piper is here in full I Hate Suzie Too glamour mode!

Billie Piper on the red carpet. Photograph: Kit Oates/REX/ShutterstockSong of the year: Harry Styles – As It Was

Shania Twain performed with Harry Styles at Coachella last year, and here she is giving him the award for song of the year. They have a nice big hug and a proper little chat.

“Hello! This album and this song was the most fun I’ve ever had making music. I want to thank [Sony Music CEO] Rob Stringer for lending me his house to record this in, write it in. I want to thank Tom [Hull, Kid Harpoon] and Tyler Johnson [co-writer] and everyone, all my friends who support me … Thank you to everyone who listened and thank you Lewis,” he says, gesturing towards Lewis Capaldi for reasons that I either have forgotten or did not know of in the first place.

Imagine for a second if Ed Sheeran and Elton John’s Merry Christmas had won this category. I hate that “will this do?” song, but the Brits could do with that sort of mad “dog in the classroom” energy. Anyway, As It Was wins, predictably, bringing Styles’ total this evening to three for three, and with one more category (album of the year) to go. With 1.9bn Spotify streams and 10 weeks at No 1 in the UK, it’s evidently a song with wide appeal – it was the UK’s biggest song of 2022 – but the appeal of this slippery song is quite hard to put your finger on.

For my money, the best assessment of this song came from Bill Callahan in our (dearly departed) Listening Diary series: “It’s that type of lyric and phrasing that is very fluid, it doesn’t really mean a concrete thing. It’s kind of gauzy so you don’t ever really get sick of it. It’s a weird thing – you think you don’t want him to sing that again, but then he does and you’re like, yeah that’s good.”

Updated at 17.19 EST

Jack Steadman on why Beabadoobee is his artist of the year

Bombay Bicycle Club’s Jack Steadman worked with Bea Kristi, aka Beabadoobee, on her second album Beatopia. He told us why she’s his artist of the year:

What struck me about Bea was how quickly and effortlessly she wrote her melodies and lyrics. We were in my studio writing and I was playing her a beat of mine when I turned round to see her on her phone. I thought “Oh no” but a few minutes later she showed me the words written out and sang this wonderful melody. It was all finished. It was super refreshing for someone like me who tends to overthink everything and takes an eternity to put a full stop on things.

Beatopia is a magical and eclectic record. I remember feeling inspired and alive when she played me an early demo for Sunny Day. It was so unique while still being incredibly catchy and accessible. I wanted to immediately pick up an instrument to write something and that feeling hadn’t happened for a long time.

When will the Brits stop being cowards and get this man to host!

Stormzy’s performance reviewedStormzy performing at the Brits. Photograph: Ian West/PA

Stormzy surprised fans last year with his decidedly low-key third album This Is What I Mean. Fittingly, his Brits performance this year is a pared-back affair – featuring the London rapper sitting on stage in front of a full band and a choir. It’s remarkable proof of his stature within the British music scene: Stormzy is one of the most successful British rappers of all time, and taking to the stage at British music’s biggest night without any pyrotechnics or bells and whistles is a great way to show what a titan he is. The whole affair is a little dry, sure – it feels weirdly traditional, especially after Wet Leg and Lizzo’s electric performances – but after blazing into the upper echelon of British pop, Stormzy deserves a moment to rest on his laurels.

Updated at 17.12 EST

Alternative/rock act: The 1975

The 1975 take home their fourth Brit award and Matty Healy gives an unusually straightforward acceptance speech.

“This is the first Brit that we’ve won that’s been voted by the fans, so that means a lot. Thank you to our small team, Dirty Hit, that’s doing very big things. We love you and thank you for supporting us, goodnight.”

The 1975 accept the award for best alternative/rock act. Photograph: Ben Stansall/AFP/Getty Images

Perhaps Healy toned it down because he’s been in trouble this week for his appearance on a podcast in which he mocked various different accents and laughed along with the host’s off-colour remarks about women. Healy’s cancel culture-obsessed press cycle for Being Funny in a Foreign Language has often felt as though the singer is gagging to get cancelled in order to… heighten his notoriety? Make some point about how safe pop culture is? Who knows.

Anyway, not a very exciting category as it’s basically just the British group category, minus Bad Boy Chiller Crew and plus Tom Grennan, and the less said about him now, the better.

Updated at 17.02 EST