10 Peter Kay jokes that make us excited for his 2022-23 tour

Rola Cola

This unforgettable Coca Cola dupe reminds everybody of their childhood and that’s what makes this joke so hilarious

There are people starving in Africa!”

“Send it to ’em. They’ll send it back!”

Misheard lyrics

You won’t ever be able to listen to a certain few songs again after hearing this joke. Whether it’s “the hot dogs go on”, which is clearly what’s said in Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On”.

“Pork pies” and “wash your back” are just a couple of phrases you’ll never forget thanks to Peter Kay.

It’s spittin’

“It’s that fine rain that soaks you through!” Peter Kay recalls the hysteria in the playground when it starts spitting and gives a perfect impression of a dramatic dinner lady.

Hobnobs

We can never eat a Hobnob without recalling this iconic joke by Peter Kay. He perfectly describes how a Hob Nob really does drink up your whole cuppa and the delivery is perfect.

The hardcore Hobnob can survive many dips according to Kay, which is why you should always opt for one instead of a Rich Tea biscuit, after all, you don’t want your “biscuit falling in your brew”.

GARLIC BREAD!

Enough said. We can’t tuck into some Garlic Bread without recalling the simple yet hilarious phrase from Peter Kay.

Guess who died?

Peter Kay’s jokes are so hilarious because of how relatable they are. Who else has a nan that will just randomly ask you to guess who’s died? Morbid, but hilarious.

Weddings

Perhaps one of his most relatable jokes of all are about weddings. Whether it’s the delay in getting some food from the buffet because you you’re “not pigs” or the DJ that no one can understand.

School reunions

Many of us dread school reunions, and Peter Kay sets the scene perfectly. After hearing from an old friend through ‘Facetube’ he recalls how “everyone’s gotten older, fatter and balder, and that’s the women!”

“There’s a reason why you don’t keep in touch with these people.”

Telephone etiquette

Peter Kay confirms that it’s definitely weird when someone phones you at 10:30pm at night. “Who the hell is ringing at this time?” None of us can ever find a pen, either. Kay also touches on answering machines and old people and how they don’t mix, which is equally as hilarious, and very true.

Crimewatch

In the words of Peter Kay: “If you saw someone like on those Crimewatch videos they’d stick in your mind, they’re freaks, they don’t look human!”